Happy Memorial Day!

Here's to my Dad who served in the Navy in peacetime. He was too young to serve in World War 2 and Korea but too old and had too many kids to support to serve in Vietnam. In the picture above he's with his best friend Freddy Martin. They served in Hawaii in about 1958 or 1959. Some tour of duty huh? Here's to my Uncle J. C. (my Aunt Bobbie's husband) who was in the Coast Guard in peacetime at the same time my Daddy was. Also, here's to my Mom's younger brothers Johnnie and Robert who both served in Vietnam. Johnnie was in the Marine's and Robert in the Army. Here's to my Dad's Uncle Coot who was a prisoner of war of the Japanese in World War 2. Here's to my cousin Stacy and her husband Nick who both were National Guard and served in Iraq. Without any of them serving their country I wouldn't have a my country. Thank you Daddy and thank you to all the members of the United States Armed Forces in war and peacetime who've made this holiday a very personal holiday for all Americans.

Awake?

I think I am. Just one week and a few days until everybody in our household become night owls. That's right. Summer is just around the corner for us. I don't know who's more excited about school being over for the year the kids or me. Jessie is officially a 6th grader despite her failing math every semester. She missed it by just this much though so considering her learning disability with math it really means she did very well to just fail by that little bit. She did pass the math TAKS test so that's why the ARD committee decided to go ahead and pass her to 6th grade. I don't want her to be passed ahead just to be passed but holding her back for this and knowing its an actual learning disability is different than if she were just a normal student who wasn't trying. Her other classes are all on grade level or a little above and she was given a small IQ test where she was determined to be an average person of intelligence. I'll take average intelligence. It's her personality that makes her who she is anyway. I mentioned to the committee that well so she won't be an accountant when she grows up but they threw back at me that maybe she'd be a writer then. Okay, I know my girl has an imagination but now I'm wondering what the heck she's been saying or writing at school. They didn't act like it was anything bad so I guess I'll just look forward to her future and see what she turns out to be. Nicky is passing to the 8th grade. I just can't believe he's in 8th grade. It just seems like he was a baby yesterday. He's at the other end of the spectrum from Jessie. He came home with awards for A/B Honor Roll and an Outstanding in Science Certificate and never even told me it was Awards day. In fact, I'd never seen the inside of the new middle school until we went to his Band concert last week. All I saw then was the Cafetorium. (I hate those!) Why not just build an auditorium when building a whole new school? Doesn't make any sense to me either. Nicky plays the Baritone. It looks like a small tuba. He really enjoys it. Jessie thinks he enjoys Band so much so that she's decided she wants to do Band for her elective in 6th grade too. The Band director let her try the Flute and the Clarinet and asked her which she liked best. She chose the Clarinet. The director told her good choice because its an instrument for people with long arms. Yep, I have a monkey girl. Her hands are already bigger than mine too. If she's not going to be tall I'll be very surprised. Nicky too. Both are already even or past me in height. Course I'm only 5'4" but I wasn't anywhere near their heights at their ages. Thank goodness for tall grandparents. They'll both be at the middle school this next year and then Nicky will start high school the year after that. I don't even want to begin thinking about that yet. Sidenote: After a cooling off period of a few days my brother and I are all good again. I was hoping it would be okay and it was. It helped I was able to get my emotions all out here though. I've opened my blog back up for anybody to read again. I just needed a few days of being paranoid I guess.

@@

That's an eye roll by the way. My brother sucks! I'm so upset with him right now. Our family is on Facebook. A lot of the extended family on my Mom's side is too. Well, I made a family group page that is closed to the public so that we could post more private things that don't need to be all over Facebook. I really wanted my Mom to be able to talk about my Dad to her family without worrying about who else could read it and today she actually posted on there that she saw him and that he was in a good mood. I was excited for a little bit. Anyway, I started a Scattegories type game there and my brother proceeded to answer with a whole bunch of answers and not give anybody else a chance to answer so when I started the next letter I just asked that no one answer more than once in a row to give everybody a chance to play. He IM'd me on Facebook and told me to remove him from the group. I told him no that I'd just delete the whole group. I found out I can't delete the whole group without removing everybody first and I don't want to do that. There'd be a lot of questions and its better to just leave it up instead. Then he said this smartass is leaving Facebook. I told him I didn't call him a smartass and then he said he didn't say I did. Okay, so that remark was just like slapping me in the face then. Why say that remark if it has nothing to do with me? I told him I just asked to take turns so everybody could play and he told me I replied during the game. Um...no I didn't. I started the game and then changed to the next letter. He didn't give anyone a chance to respond after my one Aunt responded. I deleted the Scattegory discussion so there's no chance of that happening again. It just pisses me off because he knows how important it was to me that we have this family group page. I feel my Mom's family drifting all apart and I miss the closeness I had with all my cousins growing up. I think my brother is just mad because he couldn't control everything on there. I'm going to enjoy him not being on Facebook I think. There's times when he's jumped in on conversations with friends of mine that he has no idea who they are. I won't miss his abrasiveness on there that's for sure. He loves to be mean when he's talking to you in person too and then turns it around and says he's joking. I'm tired of it and I've been wanting to tell him off for a long time but because of what my Mom is going through with my Dad I haven't. Now, I doubt I'll get to talk to my Mom or my sister very much since he's always the one to answer the phone. So I guess I've lost my Mom and everybody now for sure. I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong. I just wanted a chance for everybody to have fun on there. What's funny is I know he'll still be going on Facebook under my Mom's and sister's pages so I can't even trust a conversation with them on there that its not really him. His loss right? Then why do I feel bad? I guess its cause I'm the eldest. I hate being the eldest sometimes.


**Edit** I got on Facebook this morning like always. My brother is back on there. I think he has his settings so I can't see him on there. Fine with me. I didn't do anything wrong. Just asked he played fair and apparantly he just can't do that anymore. I only noticed because one of the pictures someone else put on had him tagged and it was in blue so that means he's not off of Facebook. He'll get over himself eventually. I'll be here when he does but I'm not going to fret myself over him anymore. He's a grown man and should be able to handle himself as such. The only thing worries me is not seeing my Mom.

Wednesday

I didn't go and see my Dad this past weekend. My brother Patrick took my Mom and sister Cheryl up and dropped them off on Sunday. He hardly will ever go in to see my Dad because he feels like he's a trigger and that he being up there will make my Dad want to come home. I had told Cheryl I would take them but I like to go in the morning and they wanted to go at lunchtime because the nurses told them that they could bring him a hamburger and fries for lunch. They said he ate every bit of his burger and almost all of his fries. I think they're planning on doing it again next week too so I don't know if I'll go then or not. We'll see. Chris wants to take the kids to see Clash of the Titans this weekend. With Ironman 2 out that one shouldn't be crowded at all. We'll probably see Ironman 2 in a few more weeks. Chris is one to always go and see a new movie a couple of weeks to a month after its released simply because he doesn't want to be in a crowded movie theater. Yet, heaven forbid we go to the dollar show and catch one we missed. Doesn't make a lick of sense does it? LOL. My Mom had a great doctor visit on Monday. She was in a wonderful mood and she and I got a lot of talking done. I told her about that last message from my niece Amanda and the bit about having help to buy a car and she told me that they did buy a car for me but they didn't. My Dad picked up an El Camino and I did drive it but my brother Patrick told me in no uncertain terms that it was HIS car. I've told my Mom that before but of course she doesn't remember so I let go of it. Then she told me that they made monthly payments to someone for some other old Buick I owned. Yeah they did from money I gave them each month for it but she was bound and determined it came out of their pocket. Nope. It didn't. I let go of that argument too. I know the truth. No one ever helped or bought me a car. I always took care of my own in that department. Anyway we got a lot of talking done which she can't do at home because she doesn't want to upset Cheryl and Patrick just knows everything so my Mom doesn't feel she can speak freely around him. I don't mind her getting stuff of her chest to me it just leaves me with nowhere to go with anything and there's times when I don't need to know the stuff I know. Sometimes I hate being the eldest.

Kids Names

I saw on another blog out in blogland that someone explained the meaning behind her kids names. Since its Mother's Day weekend it seems like a good time to explain about my kids names too. First though happy Mother's Day to all my Mommy friends and family online and off in the real world.


Family names are a really big deal to me. You'll see why as you read below.


Nicky is 13 so I'm sure he's about to become just Nick soon. His whole name is Nicholas Jay Harold H*****t. The Nicholas was picked out by Chris and my sister Kelly. Chris said he always wanted a kid called Nick so I went with it since I didn't have a boys name picked out for him. The Jay is Chris's middle name and his father's middle name also. Harold is after Chris's grandfather Harry H*****t but I didn't want to go with just Harry since kids can be mean when it comes to some names like Harry. Chris's grandfather was Harry Christopher H*****t. Chris is Christopher Jay after him and his Dad Delbert Jay. As big as I am on family names there was no way I was going to name Nicky Delbert. Maybe he can use it for one of his sons as a middle name when he has one.


Jessie is 11 and I think she'll always be Jessie even when she's a little old lady. Her whole name is Jessica Ivy Jo H*****t. The Jessica is after my grandfather on my father's side. He was Jessie Elbert P******s. The Ivy is after my grandfather, yes I said grandfather, on my Mom's side. He didn't have a middle name so he was just Ivy P****n. The Jo is after my Mother-in-Law who is Betty Jo H*****t. I think I made my Mom jealous by naming Jessie after my Mother-in-Law but she got over it. She already had a niece named after her and I think Ivy Jo sounds good together.


If we would have had a third I think I would have gone with Mathidy. It's pronounced Math-i-dee. It's a boys name and a tragic one on my Mom's side of the family. Mathidy was my grandfather Ivy's older brother and he was accidentally shot with a 22 rifle when he was 13 or 14. No one has ever used that name in our family since. Since there's no way I'm ever having another baby I think I'll try to encourage my kids to use it for one of their own in the future. If they don't it won't upset me though. Who knows though how baby names will be by the time they're grown. We might be using a number system by then. LOL.

Weird....Wired........Wonky

I just feel so weird this morning. Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate when I wake up in this kind of mood. Well, not exactly a mood. Just waiting for something to happen is what it feels like. There's almost a tingle to my skin. I'm not anticipating anything. Our anniversary was last week. My birthday isn't until June and there's nothing in between to get excited over either. I wish whatever it was would go ahead and happen and be done and over with. Oh I know.......I'll get a lottery ticket and maybe I'll win the lotter tonight. Yeah right! LOL.

First Line Friday

If you got here from Kathy's blog looking for great graphics thanks for coming by. You can go here

http://grabitgraphics.blogspot.com/

Just drop me a comment about what you're looking for and I'll see what I can come up with. I make a lot of fun things for Kathy as for being great at it I'm my own worst critic of course.

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

My book choice for todays (okay I'm a day late and a dollar short but I'm here) First Line Friday is Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox. I'm posting the whole first paragraph because when I picked this book up I just couldn't stop at the first line.

Chapter One

A Wake-up Call

Gainesville, Florida - November 1990

I woke up to find the message in my left hand. It had me trembling. It wasn't a fax, telegram, memo, or the usual sort of missive bringing disturbing news. In fact, my hand held nothing at all. The trembling was the message.

Since I know what is going on with Mr. Fox I know this will be an interesting read. He's a contemporary of sorts. I watched him on Family Ties and lusted after his Alex Keaton character with all the other girls too. When Tracy broke his heart on the show I cried right along with him. Now I have a chance to find out how he survived such devastating news of Parkinsons and how Tracy and their children helped him through it all. I have so much respect for Michael and his family. I really hope a cure is found for his disease.

Goodbye Negative Family Member

Ugh! My niece Amanda is 24 going on 25. She has turned into the most negative ninny I've ever known. She needs to grow up and be responsible for her ownself. She will not phone me but uses her phone to contact me on my space. @@ Drives me crazy because everybody who has every used email or messaging of some sort knows that tone and inflection do no come across well in written words. At least for me they don't. The last message I got from her was Sunday night and she let loose on me how I need to watch how I word things to her because I do not know how it is to be her. Okay then......problem solved. I deleted all of our my space accounts and blocked her on our facebook pages. She needs anything she'll have to break down and call me. I'm through with her. She needs help let her go to her friends that she values above family. You know they're the ones always there for her anyway. Yeah I'm that pissed and I'll stay that pissed til she actually calls and talks to me. She'll either get over herself and grow up or just go away and right now I just don't care. It'd be different if she were 18 and just getting started out but my goodness she'll be 25 in September. Grow up little girl! Take on the resposibility of yourself for yourself. She's blaming everybody but herself for not having a car. She said in the last email to me that she wished she would have had the help everybody else did getting a car. Excuse me? No one ever helped me buy a car. Everything I have I worked hard for and Chris works really hard for us too so I don't even know where she got that crap from. Then she says she doesn't think she'll ever be able to have children and that she wishes she'd meet a freaking good guy that wants to be mature. Okay don't go there with me either. I'm sorry her body is screwed up with her female parts. I really am. She only has one kidney too but I would put her first before she should have kids. I'm not saying never and you never know she just might be able to have a baby someday. Medical miracles happen all the time. I just don't want her to die trying to have a baby just cause her little sister who is 19 had a baby and her brother Todd just had his 3rd. Maybe there's a reason God chose her not to actually birth babies? I hate saying that. It sounds awful but maybe she's supposed to adopt or foster kids instead? I never thought I'd have kids. I was 34 before I met Chris let alone thought I'd ever have sex and get pregnant. She's lucky she's had boyfriends in her life. I thought I was horrible or something cause guys only wanted to be friends with me. Never anything more until Chris came along. Then the next sentence she tells me that she can't go see Grandpa because she doesn't have a car. Okay if that's so why didn't she just say that to start? The email before the last one stated she didn't want to see him that she just wanted to remember him the way he was. I wouldn't have told her anything else about going to see him if she would have said that to start. Then she told me to not try to make her feel guilty about Grandma when she's been writing to Grandma and that Grandma knows how she feels about everything. Okay.........that's a new one. She's never mentioned writing to my Mom at all. I doubt that she has. Anyway, I'm through with her. I tried. She's an adult. A really old adult at that and its way beyond time that SHE GROWS UP! She's my niece not my daughter is my new mantra. Sorry for the caps but I feel so much better for getting this all off my chest. After talking to one of my cousins that is trying to help out another cousin that is the same age as Amanda I found out she's having the same sort of problems and stuff with her. Where did these grown adults get the idea that its okay to live off of relatives at their ages? Yes I lived off and on with my parents after I graduated high school and I lived with relatives here and there until Chris and I married but I always paid my own way for everything and helped out when I could with things. These kid adults just want to live off of people. Amanda's brothers are the same as her. They all act like everybody owes them an existance. I give up on them. I think I'm raising my kids right though. They're pretty good kids so far and they fear consequences. The adults in my niece and nephews generation seem to think they shouldn't have consequences it seems. I'm not speaking about every person in that generation. It just seems the ones I know personally have that attitude. I'm sure there are plenty of good adults in that generation. I know there is because I have met a few at least personally.

Reunion Fun

We had a pretty good time. We didn't go and see my Dad before we left because he had physical therapy that morning and he's usually pretty tired and grumpy after. We got down to Brenham about 11:00 and went and checked in the motel. The reservations were all screwed up. They took one of my rooms and gave it to somebody for two nights and we weren't anywhere near my Mom's siblings at all. Hopefully next years won't end up that way. We'll see....

We had to wait til 2:00 before we could get into the room so we went to my Uncle Johnnie's house since he lives in town. I had already told Chris that we would be going to the Blue Bell ice cream tour so we didn't stay very long there. My Mom and brother and sister did but not us. We had a good visit with my aunt and uncle though before we went. They hosted a hot dog and all the fixin's supper that night but I had already told my aunt we wouldn't be there cause I was stove up from just the ride down there and would just rest at the motel that night. We went on the tour of Blue Bell and it was just as interesting as it was 20 years ago when I went with a bunch of family at another reunion we had there. We got to the end of the tour and I missed the last step and fell really hard. Lucky me nothing was broken but my pride. I was definitely hurting after that for sure. I was able to twist myself when I started falling so I didn't fall on my face at least. Anyway, we got our free ice cream at the end of the tour. I got a taste of the Southern Blackberry Cobbler and it was really good. A little sweet for my taste believe it or not. I got as my scoop though Nutty Chocolate. A rich chocolate ice cream loaded with milk chocolate-coated pecans, dark chocolate-coated peanuts, white chocolate-coated almonds and roasted walnuts is the description on the website. Boy oh boy, I think its my new favorite. Chris and Nicky both got the Mint Chocolate Chip and Jessie got Dutch Chocolate. If they ever try a new flavor I'll be very surprised. LOL. We got back to the motel after that and saw everybody that was slowly trickling in as the night went by. Chris, my brother Patrick and I went to a steakhouse we found in Brenham for dinner that night and it was really delicious and very inexpensive too. I sure didn't want to be in the heat eating hot dogs. Jessie went with Cheryl and my Mom to eat hot dogs with everybody and Nicky stayed at the motel. They had free wifi and Chris brought his laptop so Nicky was in fanfiction.net heaven and just requested pizza for dinner. We had a good time visiting with everybody but I was so stiff and sore from falling and from the car ride that I had to take ibuprofen to help me sleep that night.

Saturday I woke up about 6. That's what happens when I fall asleep too early and I guess even 10:00 was too early Friday night for me. Went to the breakfast room for comp breakfast and all they had was tiny blueberry muffins, coffee, milk, cereal and oj. Donuts came in later and my brother dropped some off for the kids. We got to the park about 9:00 and the day just flew by. There were all kinds of bbq and sandwiches and cakes and pies galore to eat all day. We had some fantastic guacamole made by a friend that came with another relative and I don't think it made it to lunch time. It was really good. They played horseshoes and pig basketball. Chris and my cousin Justin came in 3rd and Nicky came up and told me he wasn't last in basketball. He really enjoyed himself. I turned him loose with my camera and he got some really good shots. Everybody left the park about 3:00 and headed to the motel to swim and drink. Them, not us. I did get to taste some really good margaritas that night but wish I hadn't after the fact. I got sicker than a dog in the middle of the night and narrowed it down to the margaritas. They were good and I really wished they were popsicles. I just wanted to keep the flavor in my mouth. Turns out that they were made with Corona Light and Tequila. LOL. The recipe is 2 bottles of corona, a giant minute maid limeade and fill the minute maid can with tequila and a can of fresca or lemon lime soda. I didn't have my own but got a sip from two of my cousins and a couple of gulps from my sister Cheryl's glass. I'm so glad I didn't get more than that because of getting sick but it only lasted a couple of hours at least. That's how I know it wasn't a good ol' virus. That's what happens when you haven't really drank in the last 6 years. Chris and I pretty much watched everybody getting drunk. I think its more fun in the long run staying sober. The twin cousins got angry with their Mom and started calling her on how bad a mother she is/was and I wasn't around for that part. I heard my Mom told one of them off and to grow up but she just walked away from my Mom so who knows if it even got through her head.

Sunday dawned bright and early. Chris and I both got showers and went to the breakfast room for coffee. They had a little more out than they did on Saturday morning. My Uncle Freddie was in there and said he tried to make toast but the toaster didn't work so he had bread and butter. LOL. We had coffee with him and other family members trickled in and out. Freddie was sick most of Saturday. He's a diabetic too and said he just didn't watch his blood sugar that well since Friday and was off his routine but he thought he had a virus of some sort. No he didn't have any margaritas and was sick before they were made. LOL. He probably over exerted himself because he did play horseshoes and basketball both. He said his blood sugar Saturday evening was 127 which isn't too much over normal but knowing him he's probably like my Mom and when its closer to normal she gets really shaky cause she's used to it being high. After that we went back to the room and got the kids to get up and dressed and we got everything packed and loaded into the car. I think it was about 9:00 when we finally left Brenham. We had so much fun that we forgot to check out of the motel and had to turn around and go back and do it. LOL, at least we didn't get very far down the road. It was so good to get home finally. I'm still sore and achy and I think it'll take a week for me to recover from everything but I'd do everything over again in a heartbeat except, of course, the fall and drinking that margarita stuff. LOL. Oh and we found a tiny bluebonnet patch by the motel. Above there's a pic of the kids with my nephew Phillip in them.

Family Reunion

Our family reunion on my Mom's side is this weekend. I'm so excited. I feel just like a kid waiting for Christmas to get here. It's been about 3 years since our last reunion and that one while fun really wasn't a great one. My Dad refused to go to the park or hang out at the motel where everyone was staying. I know now of course that it was the start of his dementia but back then we didn't realize it. We had a couple of cousins whose kids (adult kids) decided drinking and getting drunk was the thing to do. We found out after the fact that one of the 2nd cousins that was drunk griped out my sister Kelly about her treatment of another 2nd cousin. Now remember these people are all adults and the thing that went on with the way Kelly treated that other cousin was about him squirting her in the face with water. All she did was make him go to her car at the park and get her makeup for her. Ooohwee, that sure hurt him didn't it? Well anyway that 2nd cousin will be at the reunion but not the one that griped her out. Thank goodness cause Kelly and her husband and baby weren't going to go since he was supposed to have been there. Her husband wanted to go no matter what and just told Kelly to ignore that 2nd cousin but she's stubborn but no worry now since he won't be there. Also the cousin whose adult kids caused all the drinking commotion has it in her head that it was other peoples adult kids who did it. She's clueless and her kids can do no wrong. Yeah right. I love this cousin dearly but the real reason she's not coming is because she's on the outs with one of her sisters and I guess she just can't ignore her either like Kelly couldn't ignore this cousins son that griped at her 3 years ago. I understand but I just don't want all the family infighting to ruin this reunion for my Mom. She doesn't have much to look forward to lately. She cried at Thanksgiving, Christmas and on the littlest grandson's 1st birthday because my Dad couldn't be there. I know she'll cry this weekend too but I'm hoping there'll be enough distraction that she'll let herself enjoy it all. We'll see I guess. My brother Patrick found this picture of the 7 dwarfs on the internet and I mocked it up for the reunion. I made copies for the Aunts and Uncles and my sister Cheryl is going to put it in frames to give to them. I wish my brother would have found it earlier and we could have made family shirts for our immediate family to wear there. What's cool is the Aunt or Uncle whom the name belongs to matches their personalities. That's what we think anyway. See picture above.

Another Weekend Visit

Took my Mom and sister Cheryl up to see my Dad today. It was a pretty good visit. He was in a much better mood than last time and not in any pain this time either. We got to have almost a 2 hour visit with him today. He's getting skinnier still. I could really tell it in his right arm today. Also, they have him on a catheter now. The quilt is a little throw that someone gave him. I'm thinking probably some ladies organization makes them for the Vets. There's a brown piece of fabric with tiny flowers on there that matches one of the aprons that my Granny (his mother) made and used when she was alive. My sister Kelly has it but its a little comfort knowing he has something that might remind him of his mother. In fact the quilt looks a lot like something she would have made herself too. We left right before lunch because he was falling asleep on us. I told him when we left to be good but if he couldn't be good to have fun...or as he used to tell it.....be good but if you can't name it after me. That gave him a big chuckle.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

The book today is a highly recommended author. From Kathy as well as a half dozen other women I know. We used to post on an aol message board with her from time to time and I know she dedicated one of her books to the women on the board but I wasn't there at that time I think. She has a couple of monikers she uses. As Wendy Corsi Staub she writes Thrillers and Mysteries and Young Adult Books. As Wendy Markham she writes Women's Fiction. Today's book is a Wendy Markham book. It's called If Only in my Dreams. It's a time travel book and I found it on www.paperbackswap.com. Again another book website that is a must in my life. I stumbled across her new book about these characters (The Best Gift) but before getting it I wanted to read the first book first of course. I couldn't find it at my local library so hence going to paperbackswap to find it. I've read several of Wendy's books and have loved all of them. Her characterization is always well written and she does have a way with twists which is another thing I love about her writing. Okay enough gushing......here's the first line........Okay again I have another book that has a prologue so I'll do that first line and the first line of Chapter 1 also. Here's the prologue first line.........

Thanksgiving, 1941

Glenhaven Park, Westchester County, New York

"This was Glenn Miller and his Orchestra with his newest hit record, 'Chattanooga Choo Choo.'And now, before the latest news from Europe, a word from our sponsor, Lifebouy."

First off I love time travel books. I can't get enough of them in Sci-Fi and then to have one written in a romance setting is also a fave of mine. I loved the Time Traveler's Wife (book and movie both) and can't wait to get into this book. Its set during World War 2 so I can tell already its going to be a heartbreaking romance of some kind. Now heres Chapter 1's first line........

The Present

New York City

Malignant.

Okay so I know from the synopsis what to expect from this one word and its definitely not good. I think even not knowing the synopsis or anything about the author or her writing style I definitely would have picked this book up just from that first line one word start. It makes you think is it something medical or emotional or both? I know I'm going to love this book and I've got to start looking for the sequel too. I haven't read anything of Wendy's in a long time and I'm looking forward to a nice long read. Wish the book was thicker this time though. LOL.

.........sigh............

Took my Mom and sister Cheryl up to see my Dad today. It started out as a good visit but we weren't there very long before he started complaining about his leg hurting him. He kept yelling help really loudly too. We found out they had just given him pain medication right before we got there so we told him that he couldn't have anymore yet and that just frustrated him to no end. We'd talk a few minutes and then he'd start yelling help again. We reminded him off and on throughout the visit but it seems like his short term memory is going too. He got very angry at my Mom and told us to leave and so when we finally said we were going he told us we didn't need too and then turned around and yelled at us to leave. It was all in the same breath too. The nurse said they're going to let his doctor know that he does need some kind of med to calm him down but not that'll make him sleep so much. Hopefully there'll be something that'll work for him. He also kept asking us and the nurses to shoot him. Just shoot me in the head and he kept saying it over and over. I know he doesn't know what he's saying but its still harsh to hear those words come out of his mouth. He looked really gaunt today to me too. You can see the bones in his chest (not his neck or collarbone areas) too. I've never seen my Daddy this skinny.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here
http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

Today's book is a Kathy recommended author by the name of Simon Brett. The name of the book is Cast, in Order of Disappearance. It's a Charles Paris mystery and Charles Paris is a down and out actor who is always involved in solving crimes set in theaters. At least that's the gist of it that I got out of one of Kathy's post about this book series. Forgive me if I'm wrong Kathy. I immediately pictured him as a Columbo type but without the bumbling. By that I mean he's always stumbling onto a mystery of some type in the plays he's in. It's an out of print book but I was able to find it at my other favorite site which is www.Paperbackswap.com. I love going and finding books of all types there. From for my family to my weird taste in some Science Fiction books. Anyway, here's the first line of the book that Kathy recommended.

"Charles, Charles love, its your cue." Can't get much more theatrical than that! I'm going to start it this weekend. Can't wait.

Wildflowers

I had to make a trip to town today and finally, finally we're having some wildflowers blooming along the highways and bi-ways. I'm itching to get out and take our annual wildflower/bluebonnet pictures this year. We missed last year because the weather didn't cooperate plus it was a bad crop too. We didn't get enough rain or cold weather at all. This year though we've gotten plenty of both. 'Bout time I say! Just warning you all that wildflower pictures will be on here in the next week or so. Yeah!!!

Dreams.....

I went back to bed after the kids left for school and I had one of our family prophetic dreams. It was a nice dream til I woke up. I dreamt I slept with Willie Nelson (I know.....eeeeewwww) but he's always played an important part of family lore. Anyway I got pregnant and went to tell him and talked to his extended family about how my Granny knew Willie's Mama and was really close to her and kept up with Willie over the years til she died. So when I woke up I was sort of okay with the dream because I didn't think it had all the parts that was needed to be prophetic for us. When you dream your pregnant it means a death is coming but only if you have all the parts to it. Depending on who is pregnant is who it portends to and you have to dream about someone else in the family who has already passed on. Well I thought I only dreamt that I got pregnant by Willie Nelson so it just means somebody is going to be really sick especially since I only talked about my Granny to his extended family but no I realized I did see her in the dream and she had a huge smile on her face. She looked so happy. She was in the background of the crowd so hopefully that means it'll be a while before anything happens. I'm worried because of my Dad's condition of course but I haven't mentioned anything lately about my brother Patrick. A couple of years ago he was in the hospital with a bad staph infection that ate part of his back bone. Now he's having that pain again and the doctor wants him to have a T11 and 12 bone biopsy done if its possible. Nobody has called him back about it yet and that really worries me even more. I guess its not possible. He goes back to the doctor on the 12th so maybe they'll be able to tell him what's what then. He definitely has something bad going on we just don't know what exactly. My biggest fear for him is cancer especially since our younger brother told us he went through prostrate cancer this past year. He survived thank God. It's weird what you do to be mad at family but what it takes someone going through to get over being mad is even weirder. Okay, I'm through rambling but what it boils down to is it was a prophetic dream like what we have in our family and it will be a close family member this time.

Easter

We had the family over for Easter today. Just my Mom, brother Patrick, sister Cheryl and nephew Todd with his fiancee and new baby. It was a nice day. They were here for about 6 hours and I think my Mom spent most of the time holding the baby. I think it really helped her make it through the holiday without my Dad. This is my favorite new picture of her now.

Christ is Risen!

Tomb, thou shalt not hold Him longer;

Death is strong, but Life is stronger;

Stronger than the dark, the light;

Stronger than the wrong, the right;

Faith and Hope triumphant say Christ will rise on Easter Day.

Author: Phillips Brooks, D.D.


Happy Easter to each and everyone. I hope you all have a glorious Easter and lots of time to spend with family and friends.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here
http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

Yeah! I'm doing another First Line Friday. I had my daughter grab a random book out of my TBR pile...er...make that box. It's definitely bigger than a pile. LOL. She grabbed Pieces of My Sister's Life by Elizabeth Joy Arnold. I don't think I've ever read anything by her and I didn't buy this book but I got it from my Mom and/or sister Cheryl so I'm hoping its a good one. We'll find out. Here's the first line.

As the winter solstice approaches, the Beast of the Atlantic Nor'Easter awakens, like the Vampire rising from dormancy, to menace our Island.

Okay so it isn't the real first line of the book but a prelude about something that happened to the Island the book is set on way back in December of 1798. Here's the real first line of the book.

There's a photograph I keep in my bottom drawer, buried beneath the strips of wrapping paper that haven't yet found a gift that fits them.

And again, its still not the real first line but the beginning of the Prologue. LOL, I've never seen a book that has so many first lines.

Now for sure the real first line of chapter 1.

I glanced discreetly at the wall clock above the ballet barre.

Well the first two false starts are way better than that first line so I'm going to say the real first line is actually the prelude note from 1798. All I can say is this sounds like a mystery of a different kind for sure.

New Reads, A Site Recommend and a Blog Award

My friend Kathy (find her here http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/) gave me a really lovely blog award today. Thank you Kathy. She got it from Carin at http://carolinebookbinder.blogspot.com/. This award is passed on to bloggers who are kind-hearted individuals. These bloggers regularly leave comments, answer questions, offer support, and in general are superbly kind! The blogs that these lovely individuals write are resourceful, knowledgeable, and just plain awesome! For a new blogger, these people are invaluable. I really appreciate the thought that Kathy put into passing this award on to me. I'll be passing it forward myself in a few days.

Now as to new reads Kathy posted about a wonderful author named Simon Brett and her favorite series of mystery books he writes involving Charles Paris, a down and out actor who has only small parts in productions but the starring role in these mysteries. She can really sell a book to read. LOL. I went to www.paperbackswap.com and found out that there are a few of his earliest books on there son I grabbed book one - Cast in Order of Disappearance and book two - So Much Blood from there. I love www.paperbackswap.com. It's my favorite book trading spot on the web. I've only had one bad experience there and it was on my end. A man requested a really old, old science fiction paperback and since it was actually very small I had put it into a large envelope and didn't check it out before I sent it to him. I also sent him the companion book to it free without getting the extra credit for it. Well come to find out the book he requested was falling apart. He demanded I refund his credit which I would have done without his demanding but he never thanked me for the extra book or even suggested sending it back to me either. I understand some people collect books and want them in great condition but you don't go to a site like paperbackswap and expect a paperback book that was almost 20 years old and very well read to be in excellent condition. Anyway that's the only really bad experience I've had there. Oh wait I had someone complain about the wrapping getting torn up by the post office. How that was my fault I have no idea. The book was fine and there was no damage to it so I still can't figure out how it was my fault. LOL.

Family Pictures

As important as pictures are to me you'd think I'd have found a bunch of my Mom and Dad with all of 5 of us. But nope. This is the only one I've come across and this was scanned by one of my uncles so its not a good one at all. We have a bunch with the parents and the oldest 3 of us when we were little and then a bunch from when Cheryl came along 6 years after my youngest brother Terry was born but since it was 12 years between Cheryl and Kelly there's hardly any of all of us together. Of course by the time she came along we older 3 were finishing high school and I was already out and working my first job. We were scattered with jobs and school and busy with friends after so it was hard getting us all together at the same time even though we were in the same household still. That and my Dad being an on the road trucker didn't help either. Still at least I have this one badly focused and badly scanned picture. I'm going to ask my uncle that scanned it if he would send it to me so I can scan it too. I'd love to be able to give each of my siblings and Mom a nice print of this one at Christmas.

To Be Read.....

I finally broke down and caught up with all my books. Read and to be read both. I've updated my Paperbackswap.com account and since Friday have mailed out 3 books and have 4 more to mail out tomorrow. I have 3 library books to read by April 8th and then I have 33 books in my to be read pile. I got these books from online friends and my Mom and sister Cheryl plus a few I've picked up at Dollar Tree. There's a huge variety from Harlequin Romance to mystery to fantasy. Actually there's quite a lot of Harlequins on the list. There's nothing wrong with that though and fluff can be a good read too. I should be in book heaven for quite a long time. LOL. Here's a list of what I've got to look forward to.


A Baby Between Them (Harlequin SuperRomance) by C. J. Carmichael
Babylon Rising: The Secret on Ararat (Mass Market Paperback) by Tim LaHaye
(Library Book)
The Best Christmas Ever (Mass Market Paperback) by Stella Bagwell
The Bone Parade (Mass Market Paperback) by Mark Nykanen
Counting On A Cowboy (Silhouette Special Edition) by Karen Sandler
A Cowboy at Heart (Harlequin Superromance No. 1184) by Roz DennyFox
The Divine Husband (Hardcover) by Francisco Goldman
Dream Country (Mass Market Paperback) by Luanne Rice
Firefly Beach (Mass Market Paperback) by Luanne Rice
Forbidden Love (Paperback) by Karen Robards
Fully Engaged (Wingmen Warriors, #12) (Silhouette Intimate Moments, #1440) by Catherine Mann
Ghosts and Lightning (Hardcover) by Trevor Byrne (Library Book)
The Girl with the Golden Spurs (Golden Spurs, #1) by Ann Major
Guardian Angel (Crown's Spies #2) by Julie Garwood
Harrigan's bride (Paperback) by Cheryl Reavis
Hawk's Pursuit (Leisure Historical Romance) by Constance O'Banyon
Here and Then (Time Travel, #2 by Linda Lael Miller
Home to Eden: Koomera Crossing (Harlequin Superromance No. 1183) by Margaret Way
In Care Of Sam Beaudry (Silhouette Special Edition) by Kathleen Eagle
Lone Star Legacy (Cowboy Country, Book 3) (Harlequin Superromance, No 1442) by Roxanne Rustand
Loving Evangeline (Bestselling Author Collection) by Linda Howard
Luke (The Cowboys, #8) by Leigh Greenwood
Marriage by the Book (Paperback) by Joan Johnston
The Midwife and the Lawman : The Birth Place (Harlequin Superromance No. 1182) by Marisa Carroll
On The Line (Back To The Ranch) by Anne Marie Duquette
Pieces of My Sister's Life (Mass Market Paperback) by Elizabeth Joy Arnold
Postmortem (Kay Scarpetta, #1) by Patricia Cornwell
Precious Pretender (Greatest Texas Love Stories of all Time: Heading to the Hitchin' Post #2) by Stella Bagwell
Remember When (Mass Market Paperback) by Judith McNaught
Renegade Millionaire (Mass Market Paperback) by Kristi Gold
Roman Dusk (Saint-Germain series, #19) by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Saint Patrick's Battalion: A Novel (Hardcover) by James Alexander Thom
Scarlet Feather (Paperback) by Maeve Binchy
Someone To Turn To (Silhouette Intimate Moments, No 334) by Marilyn Cunningham
Texas Twins by Tina Leonard

First Line Friday...

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html

First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?


I haven't done this in a while. I guess its time to start over again. Even if I post it on a different day its the fact that I'm doing it that matters right? LOL. Here goes....


The book in my TBR pile that I just started is The Atlantis Code by Charles Brokaw. It's got a quote on the cover by Deepak Chopra that promises me that if I enjoyed the Da Vinci Code that this book would take me to a new level of mystery, wonder and adventure. So yeah I didn't actually pick the book up because of the front line but because of the quote on the cover. The first line is great too though. I would have still gotten this book if I would have read the first line first. LOL. Here it is....


Thomas Lourds abandoned the comfort of the stretch limousine with reluctance and an unaccustomed sense of foreboding.

Anytime someone is in a stretch limousine it just screams big money and big money leads to intrigue usually in books like this one. I already know its a mystery involving antiquities and the Catholic church since the quote mentioned the Da Vinci Code. The few pages I've read so far its definitely going to be good. I can't wait to get further into it.

Babies.....

and more babies. Baby boys in fact. We've had a baby boy born every 6 months since February 2009. LOL. One is from my sister (Feb. 2009) Another from my Sister in Law (Sept. 2009 and then yesterday we had a new great nephew born into the family from my youngest brothers son. He's gorgeous of course and very healthy. Thank God. He was born two weeks early which isn't too bad. He weighed 6 pounds 2 ounces and is 18 inches long. He's so sweet and so tiny. Introducing Wyatt Jason with his parents Jessica and Todd.

Spring Break

Today was the first day of Spring break for my kids so I planned a day trip for us to have some fun. I invited my brother and Mom to go with and he said if I put gas in his car he would drive. I agreed to it because his car is bigger and a lot more comfortable. Well, the first place I had wanted to go was the Billy the Kid museum in Hico, TX. Unfortunately its only open Thursday through Sunday so we didn't get to go there. Well I told my brother I wanted to head south and see what we come across on the way. He didn't go the way I wanted and we just ended up driving all day. I saw several places to stop but he wouldn't stop. Pissed me off to no end. It was such a wasted day. We ended up coming back home through Austin and I mentioned we needed to eat lunch and yet he would not stop anywhere in Austin or Round Rock or even Georgetown. He kept saying where should we go. Oops, there's not an exit. Stupid doofus wouldn't get on the service road so we could go somewhere. We ended up about 20 miles from my house at a mexican restaurant. It was good but we have mexican food all the time it seems. We just had it on Saturday. We passed so many good restaurants in Austin that we don't have here but noooooooooo he wouldn't go to any of them. Next time I'm just loading up the kids and just me and them are going. I didn't say anything to my brother because he would have gotten mad and we would have just ended up at home that much sooner. I really wanted to take my Mom somewhere for her to enjoy. While we had a nice time talking and joking in the car its still not what I planned for my kids as a day trip. :( Maybe Wednesday afternoon we can sneak off somewhere fun. I just didn't want to go just me and the kids. It's always just me and the kids. This weekend we need to go and see my Dad so we won't get to do anything with Chris when he's home. I'm just pissy about the whole day being spent in the car and nothing to show for it.

I Just Heard

on the Saturday Today show news this morning that a lady's husband was diagnosed with Dementia and she ended up having to divorce him. She did so that he could get the care he needed through medicaid because she couldn't pay the bills from his nursing home care and still live and take care of herself too. They were married for 44 years. I can't imagine my Mom going through this. Thank goodness my Dad was in the service and between the VA and his Medicare since he's retired is covering most things. My Mom and Dad don't have any savings so if my Dad hadn't been retired I doubt that he'd have gotten half the care he's getting otherwise. It's scary what you have to do to take care of a loved one now.

Oh Goodness....

My Dad is being put on hospice care. He's lost 14 pounds this week and since he's not so violent now they're reducing his meds. I'm not sure what the next few weeks will bring but I'm trying not to hold my breath. I keep catching myself doing it though. I'm worrying about my Mom too. I don't know what the inevitable will do to her when it finally happens. She's going to be so lost without him. They will celebrate 50 years of marriage in August. I hope anyway but if he's getting worse, which he is, I don't want him to linger to just make it to another anniversary. I just don't know what to think at this point.

Blessings...

I think its time to count my blessings again. It's been a long while since I've actually put them into any of my thoughts.

1. I have a loving husband and two wonderful children.

2. We're all pretty much healthy and happy.

3. I have a loving extended family.

4. I'm trying to rid myself of negative people. So far 3 are gone but they're relatives so they're not really gone. I've just decided not to allow them to rule my world.

5. My son will be going to a brand new school after Spring break. No not a new school actually but a new building. Our little town approved and built a brand new middle school.

6. My daughter has improved in Math. She's still failing but she's improved. I'm so proud of her. She has a learning disability in Math so its a big plus when she improves.

7. I know no matter how pissy I get about my brothers and sisters they'll always catch me when I fall, fail or flounder.

8. I can say pretty much the same thing about my online Mom friends. Thank you for letting me vent and worry with ya'll.

9. My Mom is doing well in spite of all she's been through this year.

10. My Dad is still alive. He may not know us at times but we sort of still have him. There's glimpses of the old him every now and then.

There's 10. I can't believe I got to 10. There's probably more if I think about it but these will do. They're the most important ones to me anyway.

I think

I pissed my Mom off today. Oh well she'll get over it. Her blood pressure is up and the doctor is trying to figure out a combo of drugs to get it down so I mentioned did he know that she's under a lot of stress about what my Dad is going through with his dementia. He said that stress could be playing on her and offered for her to go to counseling about it if she feels the need. She kept telling him that she was talking to people at the VA like the Social Worker for my Dad but she's not. She might have said hi to her but that's about it. The doctor kept asking her how she was handling the pressure and stress of it all and she told him she's fine. That she pulls herself out of it when she gets in a funk. I told her it might be nice to meet somebody that she could talk to besides me. She uses me as a sounding board. Ever since I've been grown enough to listen she's done it so I'm used to it but now she's starting to make me feel guilty about stuff that's beyond my control plus I don't need to know all of her feelings. I mean it helps to know them so I can gauge how she's doing mentally but I think she forgets I'm her daughter not a dear friend or sister and I don't know......I feel if she had somebody else to talk to that knows nothing about the whole situation she could really let go of stuff that is making her feel bad. I know she's feeling guilty and like she's deserted my Dad but there's nothing I can do. He's better off in the VA. No one is able to take care of him like they are and its a full time job just taking care of him. Maybe if we were all in better health and none of us had to work we could or if we were rich and keep him at home but none of that is about to change any time soon. I try to let her just talk but she goes on and on about the bills, why hasn't my sister paid this, that and the other. I feel guilty because I can't give them any money. Then she starts in on why can't my brother do this or that? Well, gee Mom, maybe because he's actually sicker than you are and not supposed to lift over 10 pounds? And again I feel guilty cause I can't get to her house except for Mondays usually. I never hear anything bad about baby sister come out of her mouth and then I feel guilty when I think oh gee must be nice to have a baby and use him as an excuse to not do anything for them. Ugh! I hate feeling this way. That's why I blog it all here. I get it out and I feel better. I have to remind myself I'm doing what I can with the fact that I have two school age kids and the fact that we're home alone for the week and Chris is just home on weekends. If I don't have the energy to take care of my own how can I be expected to tackle other things?

Hello Weekend!

I'm starting the weekend one day early. I can't take any more of this week. My week started getting bad last Saturday when I had the breakdown over my Dad in front of my Mom. From there on it only got worse. I got sick Saturday night and went to sleep at 6 p.m. and didn't wake up until 8 a.m. Sunday morning. Nothing but a lovely chest cold at that point. Even though I slept 14 hours the night before I still needed a nap on Sunday afternoon. I slept so hard and long that I didn't get laundry done or dinner made. They didn't starve and ate freezer food. I tried to get into see my Doctor on Monday but she was all booked except for an appointment at 3:15 which didn't work for me because the kids would be home and off the bus before I would be so I didn't take that appointment. I didn't want to see another doctor in the practice either. I mean, I'm sick, I want my doctor who knows me and who knows that I'm not often sick but when I am it's a doozy. Still thought I just had a chest cold at this point but my ear was starting to ache. Wake up Tuesday and realize I've got an ear infection. I thought I had one on Monday too but thought maybe I could get into the doc's office since it was a Tuesday. Called and she's booked solid for 2 weeks. I could see another doctor though. No, I turned into a total baby. I want my doctor, I WANT my doctor. If the guy would have told me on Monday that she was totally booked for almost 2 weeks I would have thought to maybe get my brother come to my house and be there when the kids got home but I wasn't told so....Anyway, I asked them to have the doctor call in a RX for me for an ear infection and finally at 3:00 on Tuesday I got the call back from the nurse that it had been done. At that point its too late to leave and go and get them since the kids are almost due home from school. Do I need to mention that I slept most of Monday and Tuesday away too? Wednesday I got the ear drops and came home and started using them. I'm not 100% with the pain yet but its starting to ease and I'm feeling much better with my chest cold. Pretty much over it except for a nagging cough that isn't constant. Then Thursday comes. I had a good day. Didn't need much extra sleep but last night right before bed I started getting a sty on the lower lid of my left eye. Hmmmph.....I have an eye doctor appointment today (Friday). Wouldn't you know its just my luck? I hope he can still do the exam because I have to have my eyes dialated and making sure Chris can be there is hard since he never makes it home at the same time on Fridays. I think he'll be able to. My eye just looks like I got sucker punched a little. If I come home with a RX for glasses I'm going to www.zennioptical.com and order me not one, but two pair of glasses. I'm going to get transistional lenses on one pair and hopefully both pair should cost less than $100. That's an awesome price considering the normal price for one pair of plain glasses with no frills usually cost me between $300 and $400. Anyway I hope tomorrow (Saturday) doesn't bring me any new surprises health wise. I'm done with all this crap!

I Don't Do My Space

hardly ever. I maybe check it out once a month if that. I only keep it for cousins and other relatives that haven't stumbled onto Facebook yet. I was surprised to get an email notification from there from my niece Amanda this morning. Here's what it said.

3/2/2010 11:31 PM

hey did you get an income tax form from tommys when i lived there last year i was wondering if i could pick it up or have you send it to where i live in whitney now one of my friends mom died and i came down here to help her shes been there for me and she needed a friend to help her thru this thing i dont know what its like to lose a mom but i never had a mom so i told her to at least think of the good memories she got to have with her mom anyways love yall how is jess and nick they doing good in school i hope so well gotta run so busy


Gotta love how she gets right to business....not! Hello would have been a nice start. First, its not an income tax form you're wanting. It's your W2. Why would it be sent to my house? When you quit that job you up and moved to Temple to be with your boyfriend. It's probably at one of the fly by night places you lived with him or maybe, just maybe you could call your Grandma (my Mom) and ask her if its at her house since that's where you lived before you went off with your boyfriend. Oh gee, but that would mean having to explain to Grandma why you haven't been to see your beloved Grandpa who you're sure you're the apple of his eye huh? I doubt he'd ever recognize you again Amanda. It's been since September 2009 that you last saw him. He's not any better. His kidneys are still in as bad of shape as when we had to have him first admitted back in November over the weekend before Thanksgiving when he nearly died on us. Oh but you wouldn't know any of this because you won't keep minutes on your phone so people can update you about how your Grandfather is doing. Gee whilikers, I'm so glad to read you have a friend who's been there for you through thick and thin. Where was she last year when you were telling me please Aunt Karen can I live with ya'll? I have nowhere to go. CJ is so mean to me. He puts his daughter ahead of me. Good for CJ. He's a stupid punk but at least he's putting his daughter in the right place. She should come first and Amanda, she's 2! You're 24! Grow up little girl and be an adult. I'm so sorry your friend lost her mother. I really am. We're this close to losing our Dad but since we're family it doesn't matter to you. Just remember Amanda through thick and thin you'll always have your friends and no you can't come and live with me or my family any more. You got your friends to count on.



Okay so that's what I wanted to tell her but I didn't. I was nice. I couldn't reply on my space this morning. It was just doing all kinds of weird things so I posted to her on Facebook that I didn't have any mail for her here. I guess she didn't check that because she called me about 11:30 and again like the message above just wanted to know about her W2. I told her I don't have it but to go to the local Tommy's and get their number and call and ask for a duplicate and that hers probably got lost in the mail. I also told her she needed to go and see Grandpa. That you can't go by the pictures you see on Facebook and that he's still as bad as he was a few months ago. She said okay, so he's still at the VA right? I swear if I would have treated my parents and grandparents with the lack of interest and respect that she does my Mama would have beat me black and blue. That's the difference between the way I was raised and the way my niece and nephews weren't raised. My brother always pushed them off on friends as much as possible. Hindsight it's easy to call but at the time not living in the same city and only getting to see them ocassionally I can honestly say I never noticed how much of a non Father and non Family kind of man my brother was. Now all his kids are grown but not grown up. I kind of doubt they ever will be either. I just had to get this all written down. My emotions have run the gamut this week. Starting with my Dad last Saturday, being sicker than a dog this week and then waking up to this oh so glorious email I'm so glad this week is finally over. I don't want to be a bitch but sometimes being bitchy on paper (so to speak) gets it out of my system so I don't step on toes too much. Boy, but I sure want to step on some toes hard this week too.

Bad Day

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday afternoon. I shouldn't have gone. It was such a bad, bad, bad day to see him. He wasn't in a good mood at all and I finally figured out I wasn't the daughter he wanted to see anyway. He wanted Cheryl. She wasn't there because she went off to the zoo with Patrick and Kelly and all the kids including mine. I had no idea that was going to happen til I got to my Mom's house. My sister Kelly was supposed to take one of her friends daughter and Jessie out somewhere to have fun but somehow or another they all got together for the zoo. When I got there Patrick started in that Cheryl was supposed to go with Kelly and the girls too. Still no one told me the zoo. So I let myself be guilted into telling her okay don't worry about going to see Dad. She hardly gets to do anything fun. I still thought that it was a girls day out at that point but right before we left my brother mentioned they were all going to the zoo. I know how it made me feel and even though my Mom pretends to blow things off I know it made her feel bad too. I could have gone over to my Mom's house earlier right after Nicky got out of Saturday school for Math, we could have seen my Dad, Cheryl included and all of us gone to the zoo. Anyway, I'm through whining about the zoo. Chris finally came in and they were all still out so my Mom said the kids could just spend the night and we get them today. Chris took me out to eat steak at Logans but I got a bad cut of meat. I got a ribeye but next time I'm just sticking to sirloin. The ribeye was just tough and stringy and I got it cooked medium so it shouldn't have been. Oh well. After we finally got home I stretched out in the bed because I hadn't been feeling good all day and it was just a bad day all around for me. I sweated a fever off and on all night. I think I fell asleep around 6 p.m. and finally got up about 8 a.m. this morning. My head still feels too heavy for my body and I've got a good chest cold working. Chris is going to go and get the kids in a little while so I don't have to at least. I'm just going to stick close to home today.

Prolific Blogger? Me?

A few of my friends already got this award from Kathy. I'm more of a reader and not much of a commenter as they will tell you. I'm honored to get this award. Mostly my blog lately has been about the ins and outs with my Dad and his dementia. I haven't updated on him lately because its just getting too shattering for me to go there but here it is.........My Mom signed DNR orders a couple of weeks ago and this weekend the DNR bracelet was put on his wrist. It makes the end inevitable now. I mean it always was but it was always far, far away and not in the forefront of all of our thoughts. Now with that order dangling from his wrist when we visit him makes it so very real. Okay enough of that and on with the award. Thanks again Kathy.

Thanks to Kathy at http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/. She thought my blog fit this award. Thanks, Kathy!! A Prolific Blogger is one who is intellectually productive… keeping up an active blog that is filled with enjoyable content.

1. Every winner of the Prolific Blogger Award has to pass on this award to at least seven other deserving prolific bloggers. Spread some love!
2. Each Prolific Blogger must link to the blog from which he/she has received the award.
3. Every Prolific Blogger must link back to This Post, which explains the origins and motivation for the award. Passing it on to in no particular order:

1. http://juliestutorials.blogspot.com/ Julie has a wonderful tutorial site. I haven't attempted any of her tutorials yet but I love looking at her work

2. http://thoughtsbydena.blogspot.com/ Dena has a wonderful way with words. I love reading her blog. I've been bad lately Dena and haven't caught up with you lately. I promise I'll be there again soon.

3. http://southernlovingfood.blogspot.com/ This is Cyndy's food and recipe site. She cooks the way I used to cook and grew up eating. I drool reading the good things she posts here. She already received the award from Kathy for her daily life blog (http://puttingthefunindysfunctional.blogspot.com/) but I had to include this one too.

4. http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/ This one is pure fun. I love Nicolas Cage and have seen almost all of his movies and even went and saw the crummy ones and tried to find something good in them.

5. http://lifeasmom.com/ Gotta love a family that refers to themselves as fish.

6. http://countryhollowtutorials.blogspot.com/ Another tutorial site I love to read over. Still haven't tried any tutorials on here either. I really need to get back to the fun stuff online too.

7. http://5dollardinners.com/ Some of my favorite recipes come from this site. I probably pay more than $5 for the stuff but the recipes are awesome. She just published a cookbook I want to buy and also has a lot of slow cooker recipes on her site too.

Well, that's my 7. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

OMG.....

Like you know, Jessie is turning into such a preteen girly girl. She's always been, like you know, tomboyish but with ruffles if that makes sense. I promise no more like you know statements. That's all we heard this afternoon when we went to eat dinner at Dairy Queen. Every question or comment had like you know in it. We threw it back at her but she didn't catch on right away that we were playing with her. Not only does she use the statement a lot but she does it with a Valley Girl accent. LOL. Where she learned that I have no idea. Probably my sister Cheryl. The teacher of all things bad but fun. Isn't that what Aunts are good for? The fun things not the bad things. LOL. Nicky stayed home and just requested yet again pepperoni pizza for dinner. I swear he's a walking pizza if I ever saw one. He must be eating healthy though since he's 5'3" now and at a healthy weight too. I guess he's found his perfect food. At least he's a cheap date. Anyway it was nice to have just Jessie with us and she enjoyed the one on one time. Usually its just she and I when Nicky goes overnight to my Mom's so that wasn't why it was special. It was because Daddy went with just us. She's a Daddy's girl just like I was at that age. She got all embarrassed at the Doctors office the other day. Our Doctor was asking her if she knew about what was coming up for her and that she'll bleed someday and on and on. Thank goodness we have a woman Doctor or she would have really died of embarrassment. She asked Nicky if he liked girls yet and of course he stammers out no. They're both at that stage of embarrassment and its so fun to catch them off guard with comments. Pretty soon they'll really understand everything and it'll be serious conversations there after. Time to enjoy them as children as it should be at their ages.

Sad

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday. We had to wait about 45 minutes for him to get out of occupational therapy. Not for walking but they had him making something with his hands. We only stayed about 15 minutes after he got back up there because he was falling asleep on us and very out of it. He still looks bad to me. Really bad. He's gaunt and his skin looks like paper. I hate seeing him this way. It breaks my heart that my Daddy who was taller than anybody else's Daddy and as strong and stubborn as a bull seems to be shrinking before my eyes. I can't imagine what is going through his mind. He usually asks when he can go home but he was too exhausted to even mutter that. I'm so scared for my Mom. She told me she feels like she's deserted him. What can I tell her? Nothing really. I just try to keep reassuring her that she hasn't deserted him. The blessing in all of this is that my Dad doesn't realize when she's not up there at least.

::sighs::

I took my Mom and sister Cheryl to see my Dad today. He was having a very bad day. He was ruddy but pale at the same time. He kept falling asleep on us while we were there. We only stayed a couple of hours since he was tired. My Mom signed a DNR and turned it in to the nurse's station today. Not that my Dad is going anytime soon (hopefully) but it'll be easier if that time does come. Tomorrow is my nephew's 1st birthday and I know that my Mom is going to have a very bad day without my Dad being there. It's going to be a weird day but hopefully it'll turn out fine.

Is This Thing On?

:::Knock:::Knock::: Is this thing on? I need to get here and try and post more. Not for anyone else but for myself. That's why I'm here anyway. I think. Nothing much going on in the homefront. Going day to day with a normal routine and that suits me just fine. I like good and boring. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and we were at a wedding and my Dad was in it. Bad omens are everywhere in that dream. I've explained before about how we have 3 symbolic things in dreams in my family that portend the 3 major things in life. Births or pregnancy, weddings and funerals. Of course we have to do everything the hard way so they don't just match up the way you'd think. If you dream about a baby or pregnancy that means a wedding, a wedding is a funeral and a funeral is a baby. So I know my niece is engaged but she hasn't announced it to the family. She posted her relationship status on her My Space page as engaged. Dreaming my Dad was there means its my side of the family and that its immediate family since it was my Dad and of course the wedding is a funeral. My Dad is in really bad health but my Mom hasn't been getting her meds because of not having enough money to get everything needed since she was in the gap for her medicare. I won't stop holding my breath until this month ends. The only good thing about the dream is that I didn't dream the funeral part so that means there's no new pregnancy in the family right now. That part is a relief because niece's fiancee is only 20 (she's 24) and he has a 2 year old daughter already from a high school romance that he doesn't hardly see or take care of. They don't need a new baby on top of not being able to take care of their own selves. 2 minimum wage jobs don't pay their bills now so I can imagine how hard it'll be on them with a baby on the way. You can't stop love though so I wish them well just not a baby yet.

Grandpas and Granddaddies, Grannies and Grandmas

I was thinking yesterday (yeah I do think ocassionally) that I have some really good memories of my grandparents. My kids have some but not as many I think. I had 4 grandparents though and they've only really had their Grandmas. My Dad is Grandpa Bob and he's always been there but as his memory got worse he'd more than likely just stay in his bedroom instead of interacting with the family when we would all get together or just come by. Chris's Dad has nothing to do with us and hasn't for the last almost 7 years. Jessie was 4 and Nicky was 6 the last time they saw Grandpa J. and that was only because he came by our house to ask if we had heard anything from Chris's brother since the wedding. I was going through the early stages of finding out I had diabetes. Well, I didn't find out til that next year but I couldn't stay awake so I wasn't very good company when they just showed up out of the blue like they did. They were showing off a car they were buying. They weren't interested in seeing us really. Just wondering about brother in law like usual. Brother in law is a great guy but they've always shown more favoritism to him. Before he married they would have him visit and not even tell us he was in town. They celebrate his birthday but not Chris's. I could go on and on but that's not what this post is about. Anyway, I had a Granny and a Granddaddy on my Dad's side and a Grandma and a Grandpa on my Mom's side of the families. My kids have no memories of Chris's Dad and just a few of my Dad. Grandmothers though they have several. My Mom is Grandma Pat and Chris's Mom is Grandma Betty. My Mom has problems getting around so she's not as active with them as Grandma Betty is. Hopefully Grandma Betty won't have any really bad medical issues in the future. She's just a year younger than my Mom but her Dad lived to be a 101 years old so she's definitely got longevity on her side. Granny and Granddaddy are my Dad's parents. When I think of my Granddaddy I remember he always was taking pictures of us. Polaroids were all the rage in the 60's. It was a big deal to watch the picture develop too. I don't know how many pictures we have of us holding a picture waiting for it to develop. He taught us how to play poker. We'd sit around the dining table and play. Granddaddy always sat in the opposite chair than he usually did though. We found out later that you could see the cards of the person in his usual chair in the china cabinet glass. Still he taught us how to play poker, not cheat. Granny was a special woman. A big woman but she never felt big to me. She had the most beautiful auburn hair and we've yet to have a redhead show up in the grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was a seamstress. She could sew anything. I still have a quilt she made probably back in the 60's. It's just a crazy quilt but knowing my Granny made it and recognizing the scraps in it make it very dear to me. It's very worn out and I wish I had the money to have it repaired but I don't see that happening anytime soon. She made all of my school clothes when I was growing up and could make her own patterns. If she were alive today and a whole lot younger she'd rule Project Runway and more than likely have her own line of clothing. She was a fantastic southern cook too. We always got a treat of a Dr Pepper when we'd go to their house but now I know the real treat were the memories I have. My Mom's parents are Grandpa and Grandma. Grandpa was a 3rd grade dropout and had to go to work at 8 to help out the family. He learned how to make brooms. I used to love to watch him make brooms. He passed on this talent to his sons and one of them and his children still make brooms and mops to this day. My Grandma was class valedictorian and she married my Grandpa right after she graduated. There were never two more polar opposites than them. He was as dark as she was fair. She could read but he couldn't. She taught him how to sign his name. Grandma was always working when we were kids. My Grandpa had throat cancer when I was around 10 so Grandma had to become the breadwinner. I can't remember his voice but I had a dream with him in it a few months ago and I heard it in the dream and woke up crying. Grandpa overcame his throat cancer and repaired lawnmowers and small engines for money when they were older. My Grandma went back to school at 55 to become an LVN so they'd be able to make it better. She worked for a local state school and secretly I really think she loved taking care of the kids there. Grown or not, they were still kids to her. They called her Granny and she loved it. I could go on and on about all 4 of them. Each unique to the Grandparent title. I just hope my children do have some great memories of their own grandparents.