To Be Read.....

I finally broke down and caught up with all my books. Read and to be read both. I've updated my Paperbackswap.com account and since Friday have mailed out 3 books and have 4 more to mail out tomorrow. I have 3 library books to read by April 8th and then I have 33 books in my to be read pile. I got these books from online friends and my Mom and sister Cheryl plus a few I've picked up at Dollar Tree. There's a huge variety from Harlequin Romance to mystery to fantasy. Actually there's quite a lot of Harlequins on the list. There's nothing wrong with that though and fluff can be a good read too. I should be in book heaven for quite a long time. LOL. Here's a list of what I've got to look forward to.


A Baby Between Them (Harlequin SuperRomance) by C. J. Carmichael
Babylon Rising: The Secret on Ararat (Mass Market Paperback) by Tim LaHaye
(Library Book)
The Best Christmas Ever (Mass Market Paperback) by Stella Bagwell
The Bone Parade (Mass Market Paperback) by Mark Nykanen
Counting On A Cowboy (Silhouette Special Edition) by Karen Sandler
A Cowboy at Heart (Harlequin Superromance No. 1184) by Roz DennyFox
The Divine Husband (Hardcover) by Francisco Goldman
Dream Country (Mass Market Paperback) by Luanne Rice
Firefly Beach (Mass Market Paperback) by Luanne Rice
Forbidden Love (Paperback) by Karen Robards
Fully Engaged (Wingmen Warriors, #12) (Silhouette Intimate Moments, #1440) by Catherine Mann
Ghosts and Lightning (Hardcover) by Trevor Byrne (Library Book)
The Girl with the Golden Spurs (Golden Spurs, #1) by Ann Major
Guardian Angel (Crown's Spies #2) by Julie Garwood
Harrigan's bride (Paperback) by Cheryl Reavis
Hawk's Pursuit (Leisure Historical Romance) by Constance O'Banyon
Here and Then (Time Travel, #2 by Linda Lael Miller
Home to Eden: Koomera Crossing (Harlequin Superromance No. 1183) by Margaret Way
In Care Of Sam Beaudry (Silhouette Special Edition) by Kathleen Eagle
Lone Star Legacy (Cowboy Country, Book 3) (Harlequin Superromance, No 1442) by Roxanne Rustand
Loving Evangeline (Bestselling Author Collection) by Linda Howard
Luke (The Cowboys, #8) by Leigh Greenwood
Marriage by the Book (Paperback) by Joan Johnston
The Midwife and the Lawman : The Birth Place (Harlequin Superromance No. 1182) by Marisa Carroll
On The Line (Back To The Ranch) by Anne Marie Duquette
Pieces of My Sister's Life (Mass Market Paperback) by Elizabeth Joy Arnold
Postmortem (Kay Scarpetta, #1) by Patricia Cornwell
Precious Pretender (Greatest Texas Love Stories of all Time: Heading to the Hitchin' Post #2) by Stella Bagwell
Remember When (Mass Market Paperback) by Judith McNaught
Renegade Millionaire (Mass Market Paperback) by Kristi Gold
Roman Dusk (Saint-Germain series, #19) by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Saint Patrick's Battalion: A Novel (Hardcover) by James Alexander Thom
Scarlet Feather (Paperback) by Maeve Binchy
Someone To Turn To (Silhouette Intimate Moments, No 334) by Marilyn Cunningham
Texas Twins by Tina Leonard

First Line Friday...

My friend Kathy loves books and bags and Bon Jovi. Not in that order necessarily but she has a love for first lines and came up with the idea for First Line Friday. You can find her here

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html

First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?


I haven't done this in a while. I guess its time to start over again. Even if I post it on a different day its the fact that I'm doing it that matters right? LOL. Here goes....


The book in my TBR pile that I just started is The Atlantis Code by Charles Brokaw. It's got a quote on the cover by Deepak Chopra that promises me that if I enjoyed the Da Vinci Code that this book would take me to a new level of mystery, wonder and adventure. So yeah I didn't actually pick the book up because of the front line but because of the quote on the cover. The first line is great too though. I would have still gotten this book if I would have read the first line first. LOL. Here it is....


Thomas Lourds abandoned the comfort of the stretch limousine with reluctance and an unaccustomed sense of foreboding.

Anytime someone is in a stretch limousine it just screams big money and big money leads to intrigue usually in books like this one. I already know its a mystery involving antiquities and the Catholic church since the quote mentioned the Da Vinci Code. The few pages I've read so far its definitely going to be good. I can't wait to get further into it.

Babies.....

and more babies. Baby boys in fact. We've had a baby boy born every 6 months since February 2009. LOL. One is from my sister (Feb. 2009) Another from my Sister in Law (Sept. 2009 and then yesterday we had a new great nephew born into the family from my youngest brothers son. He's gorgeous of course and very healthy. Thank God. He was born two weeks early which isn't too bad. He weighed 6 pounds 2 ounces and is 18 inches long. He's so sweet and so tiny. Introducing Wyatt Jason with his parents Jessica and Todd.

Spring Break

Today was the first day of Spring break for my kids so I planned a day trip for us to have some fun. I invited my brother and Mom to go with and he said if I put gas in his car he would drive. I agreed to it because his car is bigger and a lot more comfortable. Well, the first place I had wanted to go was the Billy the Kid museum in Hico, TX. Unfortunately its only open Thursday through Sunday so we didn't get to go there. Well I told my brother I wanted to head south and see what we come across on the way. He didn't go the way I wanted and we just ended up driving all day. I saw several places to stop but he wouldn't stop. Pissed me off to no end. It was such a wasted day. We ended up coming back home through Austin and I mentioned we needed to eat lunch and yet he would not stop anywhere in Austin or Round Rock or even Georgetown. He kept saying where should we go. Oops, there's not an exit. Stupid doofus wouldn't get on the service road so we could go somewhere. We ended up about 20 miles from my house at a mexican restaurant. It was good but we have mexican food all the time it seems. We just had it on Saturday. We passed so many good restaurants in Austin that we don't have here but noooooooooo he wouldn't go to any of them. Next time I'm just loading up the kids and just me and them are going. I didn't say anything to my brother because he would have gotten mad and we would have just ended up at home that much sooner. I really wanted to take my Mom somewhere for her to enjoy. While we had a nice time talking and joking in the car its still not what I planned for my kids as a day trip. :( Maybe Wednesday afternoon we can sneak off somewhere fun. I just didn't want to go just me and the kids. It's always just me and the kids. This weekend we need to go and see my Dad so we won't get to do anything with Chris when he's home. I'm just pissy about the whole day being spent in the car and nothing to show for it.

I Just Heard

on the Saturday Today show news this morning that a lady's husband was diagnosed with Dementia and she ended up having to divorce him. She did so that he could get the care he needed through medicaid because she couldn't pay the bills from his nursing home care and still live and take care of herself too. They were married for 44 years. I can't imagine my Mom going through this. Thank goodness my Dad was in the service and between the VA and his Medicare since he's retired is covering most things. My Mom and Dad don't have any savings so if my Dad hadn't been retired I doubt that he'd have gotten half the care he's getting otherwise. It's scary what you have to do to take care of a loved one now.

Oh Goodness....

My Dad is being put on hospice care. He's lost 14 pounds this week and since he's not so violent now they're reducing his meds. I'm not sure what the next few weeks will bring but I'm trying not to hold my breath. I keep catching myself doing it though. I'm worrying about my Mom too. I don't know what the inevitable will do to her when it finally happens. She's going to be so lost without him. They will celebrate 50 years of marriage in August. I hope anyway but if he's getting worse, which he is, I don't want him to linger to just make it to another anniversary. I just don't know what to think at this point.

Blessings...

I think its time to count my blessings again. It's been a long while since I've actually put them into any of my thoughts.

1. I have a loving husband and two wonderful children.

2. We're all pretty much healthy and happy.

3. I have a loving extended family.

4. I'm trying to rid myself of negative people. So far 3 are gone but they're relatives so they're not really gone. I've just decided not to allow them to rule my world.

5. My son will be going to a brand new school after Spring break. No not a new school actually but a new building. Our little town approved and built a brand new middle school.

6. My daughter has improved in Math. She's still failing but she's improved. I'm so proud of her. She has a learning disability in Math so its a big plus when she improves.

7. I know no matter how pissy I get about my brothers and sisters they'll always catch me when I fall, fail or flounder.

8. I can say pretty much the same thing about my online Mom friends. Thank you for letting me vent and worry with ya'll.

9. My Mom is doing well in spite of all she's been through this year.

10. My Dad is still alive. He may not know us at times but we sort of still have him. There's glimpses of the old him every now and then.

There's 10. I can't believe I got to 10. There's probably more if I think about it but these will do. They're the most important ones to me anyway.

I think

I pissed my Mom off today. Oh well she'll get over it. Her blood pressure is up and the doctor is trying to figure out a combo of drugs to get it down so I mentioned did he know that she's under a lot of stress about what my Dad is going through with his dementia. He said that stress could be playing on her and offered for her to go to counseling about it if she feels the need. She kept telling him that she was talking to people at the VA like the Social Worker for my Dad but she's not. She might have said hi to her but that's about it. The doctor kept asking her how she was handling the pressure and stress of it all and she told him she's fine. That she pulls herself out of it when she gets in a funk. I told her it might be nice to meet somebody that she could talk to besides me. She uses me as a sounding board. Ever since I've been grown enough to listen she's done it so I'm used to it but now she's starting to make me feel guilty about stuff that's beyond my control plus I don't need to know all of her feelings. I mean it helps to know them so I can gauge how she's doing mentally but I think she forgets I'm her daughter not a dear friend or sister and I don't know......I feel if she had somebody else to talk to that knows nothing about the whole situation she could really let go of stuff that is making her feel bad. I know she's feeling guilty and like she's deserted my Dad but there's nothing I can do. He's better off in the VA. No one is able to take care of him like they are and its a full time job just taking care of him. Maybe if we were all in better health and none of us had to work we could or if we were rich and keep him at home but none of that is about to change any time soon. I try to let her just talk but she goes on and on about the bills, why hasn't my sister paid this, that and the other. I feel guilty because I can't give them any money. Then she starts in on why can't my brother do this or that? Well, gee Mom, maybe because he's actually sicker than you are and not supposed to lift over 10 pounds? And again I feel guilty cause I can't get to her house except for Mondays usually. I never hear anything bad about baby sister come out of her mouth and then I feel guilty when I think oh gee must be nice to have a baby and use him as an excuse to not do anything for them. Ugh! I hate feeling this way. That's why I blog it all here. I get it out and I feel better. I have to remind myself I'm doing what I can with the fact that I have two school age kids and the fact that we're home alone for the week and Chris is just home on weekends. If I don't have the energy to take care of my own how can I be expected to tackle other things?

Hello Weekend!

I'm starting the weekend one day early. I can't take any more of this week. My week started getting bad last Saturday when I had the breakdown over my Dad in front of my Mom. From there on it only got worse. I got sick Saturday night and went to sleep at 6 p.m. and didn't wake up until 8 a.m. Sunday morning. Nothing but a lovely chest cold at that point. Even though I slept 14 hours the night before I still needed a nap on Sunday afternoon. I slept so hard and long that I didn't get laundry done or dinner made. They didn't starve and ate freezer food. I tried to get into see my Doctor on Monday but she was all booked except for an appointment at 3:15 which didn't work for me because the kids would be home and off the bus before I would be so I didn't take that appointment. I didn't want to see another doctor in the practice either. I mean, I'm sick, I want my doctor who knows me and who knows that I'm not often sick but when I am it's a doozy. Still thought I just had a chest cold at this point but my ear was starting to ache. Wake up Tuesday and realize I've got an ear infection. I thought I had one on Monday too but thought maybe I could get into the doc's office since it was a Tuesday. Called and she's booked solid for 2 weeks. I could see another doctor though. No, I turned into a total baby. I want my doctor, I WANT my doctor. If the guy would have told me on Monday that she was totally booked for almost 2 weeks I would have thought to maybe get my brother come to my house and be there when the kids got home but I wasn't told so....Anyway, I asked them to have the doctor call in a RX for me for an ear infection and finally at 3:00 on Tuesday I got the call back from the nurse that it had been done. At that point its too late to leave and go and get them since the kids are almost due home from school. Do I need to mention that I slept most of Monday and Tuesday away too? Wednesday I got the ear drops and came home and started using them. I'm not 100% with the pain yet but its starting to ease and I'm feeling much better with my chest cold. Pretty much over it except for a nagging cough that isn't constant. Then Thursday comes. I had a good day. Didn't need much extra sleep but last night right before bed I started getting a sty on the lower lid of my left eye. Hmmmph.....I have an eye doctor appointment today (Friday). Wouldn't you know its just my luck? I hope he can still do the exam because I have to have my eyes dialated and making sure Chris can be there is hard since he never makes it home at the same time on Fridays. I think he'll be able to. My eye just looks like I got sucker punched a little. If I come home with a RX for glasses I'm going to www.zennioptical.com and order me not one, but two pair of glasses. I'm going to get transistional lenses on one pair and hopefully both pair should cost less than $100. That's an awesome price considering the normal price for one pair of plain glasses with no frills usually cost me between $300 and $400. Anyway I hope tomorrow (Saturday) doesn't bring me any new surprises health wise. I'm done with all this crap!

I Don't Do My Space

hardly ever. I maybe check it out once a month if that. I only keep it for cousins and other relatives that haven't stumbled onto Facebook yet. I was surprised to get an email notification from there from my niece Amanda this morning. Here's what it said.

3/2/2010 11:31 PM

hey did you get an income tax form from tommys when i lived there last year i was wondering if i could pick it up or have you send it to where i live in whitney now one of my friends mom died and i came down here to help her shes been there for me and she needed a friend to help her thru this thing i dont know what its like to lose a mom but i never had a mom so i told her to at least think of the good memories she got to have with her mom anyways love yall how is jess and nick they doing good in school i hope so well gotta run so busy


Gotta love how she gets right to business....not! Hello would have been a nice start. First, its not an income tax form you're wanting. It's your W2. Why would it be sent to my house? When you quit that job you up and moved to Temple to be with your boyfriend. It's probably at one of the fly by night places you lived with him or maybe, just maybe you could call your Grandma (my Mom) and ask her if its at her house since that's where you lived before you went off with your boyfriend. Oh gee, but that would mean having to explain to Grandma why you haven't been to see your beloved Grandpa who you're sure you're the apple of his eye huh? I doubt he'd ever recognize you again Amanda. It's been since September 2009 that you last saw him. He's not any better. His kidneys are still in as bad of shape as when we had to have him first admitted back in November over the weekend before Thanksgiving when he nearly died on us. Oh but you wouldn't know any of this because you won't keep minutes on your phone so people can update you about how your Grandfather is doing. Gee whilikers, I'm so glad to read you have a friend who's been there for you through thick and thin. Where was she last year when you were telling me please Aunt Karen can I live with ya'll? I have nowhere to go. CJ is so mean to me. He puts his daughter ahead of me. Good for CJ. He's a stupid punk but at least he's putting his daughter in the right place. She should come first and Amanda, she's 2! You're 24! Grow up little girl and be an adult. I'm so sorry your friend lost her mother. I really am. We're this close to losing our Dad but since we're family it doesn't matter to you. Just remember Amanda through thick and thin you'll always have your friends and no you can't come and live with me or my family any more. You got your friends to count on.



Okay so that's what I wanted to tell her but I didn't. I was nice. I couldn't reply on my space this morning. It was just doing all kinds of weird things so I posted to her on Facebook that I didn't have any mail for her here. I guess she didn't check that because she called me about 11:30 and again like the message above just wanted to know about her W2. I told her I don't have it but to go to the local Tommy's and get their number and call and ask for a duplicate and that hers probably got lost in the mail. I also told her she needed to go and see Grandpa. That you can't go by the pictures you see on Facebook and that he's still as bad as he was a few months ago. She said okay, so he's still at the VA right? I swear if I would have treated my parents and grandparents with the lack of interest and respect that she does my Mama would have beat me black and blue. That's the difference between the way I was raised and the way my niece and nephews weren't raised. My brother always pushed them off on friends as much as possible. Hindsight it's easy to call but at the time not living in the same city and only getting to see them ocassionally I can honestly say I never noticed how much of a non Father and non Family kind of man my brother was. Now all his kids are grown but not grown up. I kind of doubt they ever will be either. I just had to get this all written down. My emotions have run the gamut this week. Starting with my Dad last Saturday, being sicker than a dog this week and then waking up to this oh so glorious email I'm so glad this week is finally over. I don't want to be a bitch but sometimes being bitchy on paper (so to speak) gets it out of my system so I don't step on toes too much. Boy, but I sure want to step on some toes hard this week too.

Bad Day

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday afternoon. I shouldn't have gone. It was such a bad, bad, bad day to see him. He wasn't in a good mood at all and I finally figured out I wasn't the daughter he wanted to see anyway. He wanted Cheryl. She wasn't there because she went off to the zoo with Patrick and Kelly and all the kids including mine. I had no idea that was going to happen til I got to my Mom's house. My sister Kelly was supposed to take one of her friends daughter and Jessie out somewhere to have fun but somehow or another they all got together for the zoo. When I got there Patrick started in that Cheryl was supposed to go with Kelly and the girls too. Still no one told me the zoo. So I let myself be guilted into telling her okay don't worry about going to see Dad. She hardly gets to do anything fun. I still thought that it was a girls day out at that point but right before we left my brother mentioned they were all going to the zoo. I know how it made me feel and even though my Mom pretends to blow things off I know it made her feel bad too. I could have gone over to my Mom's house earlier right after Nicky got out of Saturday school for Math, we could have seen my Dad, Cheryl included and all of us gone to the zoo. Anyway, I'm through whining about the zoo. Chris finally came in and they were all still out so my Mom said the kids could just spend the night and we get them today. Chris took me out to eat steak at Logans but I got a bad cut of meat. I got a ribeye but next time I'm just sticking to sirloin. The ribeye was just tough and stringy and I got it cooked medium so it shouldn't have been. Oh well. After we finally got home I stretched out in the bed because I hadn't been feeling good all day and it was just a bad day all around for me. I sweated a fever off and on all night. I think I fell asleep around 6 p.m. and finally got up about 8 a.m. this morning. My head still feels too heavy for my body and I've got a good chest cold working. Chris is going to go and get the kids in a little while so I don't have to at least. I'm just going to stick close to home today.

Prolific Blogger? Me?

A few of my friends already got this award from Kathy. I'm more of a reader and not much of a commenter as they will tell you. I'm honored to get this award. Mostly my blog lately has been about the ins and outs with my Dad and his dementia. I haven't updated on him lately because its just getting too shattering for me to go there but here it is.........My Mom signed DNR orders a couple of weeks ago and this weekend the DNR bracelet was put on his wrist. It makes the end inevitable now. I mean it always was but it was always far, far away and not in the forefront of all of our thoughts. Now with that order dangling from his wrist when we visit him makes it so very real. Okay enough of that and on with the award. Thanks again Kathy.

Thanks to Kathy at http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/. She thought my blog fit this award. Thanks, Kathy!! A Prolific Blogger is one who is intellectually productive… keeping up an active blog that is filled with enjoyable content.

1. Every winner of the Prolific Blogger Award has to pass on this award to at least seven other deserving prolific bloggers. Spread some love!
2. Each Prolific Blogger must link to the blog from which he/she has received the award.
3. Every Prolific Blogger must link back to This Post, which explains the origins and motivation for the award. Passing it on to in no particular order:

1. http://juliestutorials.blogspot.com/ Julie has a wonderful tutorial site. I haven't attempted any of her tutorials yet but I love looking at her work

2. http://thoughtsbydena.blogspot.com/ Dena has a wonderful way with words. I love reading her blog. I've been bad lately Dena and haven't caught up with you lately. I promise I'll be there again soon.

3. http://southernlovingfood.blogspot.com/ This is Cyndy's food and recipe site. She cooks the way I used to cook and grew up eating. I drool reading the good things she posts here. She already received the award from Kathy for her daily life blog (http://puttingthefunindysfunctional.blogspot.com/) but I had to include this one too.

4. http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/ This one is pure fun. I love Nicolas Cage and have seen almost all of his movies and even went and saw the crummy ones and tried to find something good in them.

5. http://lifeasmom.com/ Gotta love a family that refers to themselves as fish.

6. http://countryhollowtutorials.blogspot.com/ Another tutorial site I love to read over. Still haven't tried any tutorials on here either. I really need to get back to the fun stuff online too.

7. http://5dollardinners.com/ Some of my favorite recipes come from this site. I probably pay more than $5 for the stuff but the recipes are awesome. She just published a cookbook I want to buy and also has a lot of slow cooker recipes on her site too.

Well, that's my 7. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

OMG.....

Like you know, Jessie is turning into such a preteen girly girl. She's always been, like you know, tomboyish but with ruffles if that makes sense. I promise no more like you know statements. That's all we heard this afternoon when we went to eat dinner at Dairy Queen. Every question or comment had like you know in it. We threw it back at her but she didn't catch on right away that we were playing with her. Not only does she use the statement a lot but she does it with a Valley Girl accent. LOL. Where she learned that I have no idea. Probably my sister Cheryl. The teacher of all things bad but fun. Isn't that what Aunts are good for? The fun things not the bad things. LOL. Nicky stayed home and just requested yet again pepperoni pizza for dinner. I swear he's a walking pizza if I ever saw one. He must be eating healthy though since he's 5'3" now and at a healthy weight too. I guess he's found his perfect food. At least he's a cheap date. Anyway it was nice to have just Jessie with us and she enjoyed the one on one time. Usually its just she and I when Nicky goes overnight to my Mom's so that wasn't why it was special. It was because Daddy went with just us. She's a Daddy's girl just like I was at that age. She got all embarrassed at the Doctors office the other day. Our Doctor was asking her if she knew about what was coming up for her and that she'll bleed someday and on and on. Thank goodness we have a woman Doctor or she would have really died of embarrassment. She asked Nicky if he liked girls yet and of course he stammers out no. They're both at that stage of embarrassment and its so fun to catch them off guard with comments. Pretty soon they'll really understand everything and it'll be serious conversations there after. Time to enjoy them as children as it should be at their ages.

Sad

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday. We had to wait about 45 minutes for him to get out of occupational therapy. Not for walking but they had him making something with his hands. We only stayed about 15 minutes after he got back up there because he was falling asleep on us and very out of it. He still looks bad to me. Really bad. He's gaunt and his skin looks like paper. I hate seeing him this way. It breaks my heart that my Daddy who was taller than anybody else's Daddy and as strong and stubborn as a bull seems to be shrinking before my eyes. I can't imagine what is going through his mind. He usually asks when he can go home but he was too exhausted to even mutter that. I'm so scared for my Mom. She told me she feels like she's deserted him. What can I tell her? Nothing really. I just try to keep reassuring her that she hasn't deserted him. The blessing in all of this is that my Dad doesn't realize when she's not up there at least.

::sighs::

I took my Mom and sister Cheryl to see my Dad today. He was having a very bad day. He was ruddy but pale at the same time. He kept falling asleep on us while we were there. We only stayed a couple of hours since he was tired. My Mom signed a DNR and turned it in to the nurse's station today. Not that my Dad is going anytime soon (hopefully) but it'll be easier if that time does come. Tomorrow is my nephew's 1st birthday and I know that my Mom is going to have a very bad day without my Dad being there. It's going to be a weird day but hopefully it'll turn out fine.

Is This Thing On?

:::Knock:::Knock::: Is this thing on? I need to get here and try and post more. Not for anyone else but for myself. That's why I'm here anyway. I think. Nothing much going on in the homefront. Going day to day with a normal routine and that suits me just fine. I like good and boring. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and we were at a wedding and my Dad was in it. Bad omens are everywhere in that dream. I've explained before about how we have 3 symbolic things in dreams in my family that portend the 3 major things in life. Births or pregnancy, weddings and funerals. Of course we have to do everything the hard way so they don't just match up the way you'd think. If you dream about a baby or pregnancy that means a wedding, a wedding is a funeral and a funeral is a baby. So I know my niece is engaged but she hasn't announced it to the family. She posted her relationship status on her My Space page as engaged. Dreaming my Dad was there means its my side of the family and that its immediate family since it was my Dad and of course the wedding is a funeral. My Dad is in really bad health but my Mom hasn't been getting her meds because of not having enough money to get everything needed since she was in the gap for her medicare. I won't stop holding my breath until this month ends. The only good thing about the dream is that I didn't dream the funeral part so that means there's no new pregnancy in the family right now. That part is a relief because niece's fiancee is only 20 (she's 24) and he has a 2 year old daughter already from a high school romance that he doesn't hardly see or take care of. They don't need a new baby on top of not being able to take care of their own selves. 2 minimum wage jobs don't pay their bills now so I can imagine how hard it'll be on them with a baby on the way. You can't stop love though so I wish them well just not a baby yet.

Grandpas and Granddaddies, Grannies and Grandmas

I was thinking yesterday (yeah I do think ocassionally) that I have some really good memories of my grandparents. My kids have some but not as many I think. I had 4 grandparents though and they've only really had their Grandmas. My Dad is Grandpa Bob and he's always been there but as his memory got worse he'd more than likely just stay in his bedroom instead of interacting with the family when we would all get together or just come by. Chris's Dad has nothing to do with us and hasn't for the last almost 7 years. Jessie was 4 and Nicky was 6 the last time they saw Grandpa J. and that was only because he came by our house to ask if we had heard anything from Chris's brother since the wedding. I was going through the early stages of finding out I had diabetes. Well, I didn't find out til that next year but I couldn't stay awake so I wasn't very good company when they just showed up out of the blue like they did. They were showing off a car they were buying. They weren't interested in seeing us really. Just wondering about brother in law like usual. Brother in law is a great guy but they've always shown more favoritism to him. Before he married they would have him visit and not even tell us he was in town. They celebrate his birthday but not Chris's. I could go on and on but that's not what this post is about. Anyway, I had a Granny and a Granddaddy on my Dad's side and a Grandma and a Grandpa on my Mom's side of the families. My kids have no memories of Chris's Dad and just a few of my Dad. Grandmothers though they have several. My Mom is Grandma Pat and Chris's Mom is Grandma Betty. My Mom has problems getting around so she's not as active with them as Grandma Betty is. Hopefully Grandma Betty won't have any really bad medical issues in the future. She's just a year younger than my Mom but her Dad lived to be a 101 years old so she's definitely got longevity on her side. Granny and Granddaddy are my Dad's parents. When I think of my Granddaddy I remember he always was taking pictures of us. Polaroids were all the rage in the 60's. It was a big deal to watch the picture develop too. I don't know how many pictures we have of us holding a picture waiting for it to develop. He taught us how to play poker. We'd sit around the dining table and play. Granddaddy always sat in the opposite chair than he usually did though. We found out later that you could see the cards of the person in his usual chair in the china cabinet glass. Still he taught us how to play poker, not cheat. Granny was a special woman. A big woman but she never felt big to me. She had the most beautiful auburn hair and we've yet to have a redhead show up in the grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was a seamstress. She could sew anything. I still have a quilt she made probably back in the 60's. It's just a crazy quilt but knowing my Granny made it and recognizing the scraps in it make it very dear to me. It's very worn out and I wish I had the money to have it repaired but I don't see that happening anytime soon. She made all of my school clothes when I was growing up and could make her own patterns. If she were alive today and a whole lot younger she'd rule Project Runway and more than likely have her own line of clothing. She was a fantastic southern cook too. We always got a treat of a Dr Pepper when we'd go to their house but now I know the real treat were the memories I have. My Mom's parents are Grandpa and Grandma. Grandpa was a 3rd grade dropout and had to go to work at 8 to help out the family. He learned how to make brooms. I used to love to watch him make brooms. He passed on this talent to his sons and one of them and his children still make brooms and mops to this day. My Grandma was class valedictorian and she married my Grandpa right after she graduated. There were never two more polar opposites than them. He was as dark as she was fair. She could read but he couldn't. She taught him how to sign his name. Grandma was always working when we were kids. My Grandpa had throat cancer when I was around 10 so Grandma had to become the breadwinner. I can't remember his voice but I had a dream with him in it a few months ago and I heard it in the dream and woke up crying. Grandpa overcame his throat cancer and repaired lawnmowers and small engines for money when they were older. My Grandma went back to school at 55 to become an LVN so they'd be able to make it better. She worked for a local state school and secretly I really think she loved taking care of the kids there. Grown or not, they were still kids to her. They called her Granny and she loved it. I could go on and on about all 4 of them. Each unique to the Grandparent title. I just hope my children do have some great memories of their own grandparents.

Catching Up

Christmas was nice. We saw my Dad on the Sunday before and had a pretty good visit with him. Nicky didn't go and neither did Chris but Jessie went with me along with my Mom, sisters and baby Phillip. Dad kept trying to make Jessie Phillip's sister instead of his cousin and of course he can't remember the baby is his littlest grandchild. He's physically improving but mentally he is getting worse. He hasn't totally forgotten me yet but he can't put a name to my face anymore. At least he knows I'm a daughter and not an in law. I think its because my sister Cheryl and I do favor enough and even though I'm bigger than she is I think that confuses him. Also I don't get to get up there as often as I'd like to. It's hard with Chris on the road and then also having to drive 30 miles one way plays on me physically too. I usually only get to Waco on Mondays and Fridays when I'm taking Chris to or picking him up from work. It's just too expensive and hard on my body to drive there more than that. Anyway, Christmas was nice. Weird but nice. We got together with my family at my sister Kelly's new house on Christmas eve. We had a good time and my Mom only cried when she first got there. I don't know how she does it. She's always been strong but its got to be so hard for her to for a better word grieve my Dad whenever she goes home after seeing him. We left Christmas morning and went and saw Chris's Mom. We had a great visit with her. BIL and his family did not show up to see us until Monday after and we left that afternoon so we didn't get a good visit at all with them. Their new baby is so sweet. He's easy going too and is going to be more advanced than big sister was. He's already turning over and I bet he'll be crawling in no time. His sister is turning out to be so smart and pretty. I can see a resemblence between Jessie and her. There's 8 years difference between them in age though so it'll be awhile before its more noticeable I think. We came home the Monday after Christmas day and didn't do much for the rest of Chris's vacation. We were supposed to take a ride out to Hico and Dublin, Texas one of the days but I was swollen really bad from all the riding we'd been doing and I just didn't feel up to a day trip. Hico is where Billy the Kid ended his days according to local folklore. We were going to go to the museum they have there and then eat at the Koffee Kup restaurant that's famous for its pies. In Dublin we were going to go to the last place in Texas that makes Dr Pepper with imperial pure cane sugar still. I can't believe now that is what we used to drink when I was a kid and that all soft drinks had sugar in them. They are so much sweeter than todays drinks. Hopefully we'll get to do this day trip when the kids are out of school for Spring break. We survived the arctic freeze that came through the country last week. All we had was extremely cold temperatures. This is one time I didn't mind not getting any of the snow or ice that came with that storm for places north of us.

The Most Wonderful Mother In Law

in the world is not married to my Father in Law. His current wife is beyond beyotchy but that's a story for another blog day.

My wonderful Mother in Law showed up at my Mom's house about 8:30 p.m. Saturday evening. She and her best friend Janet made a road trip from Marshall all the way to Waco. It's about a 3 1/2 trip one way so she went way above and beyond being the most wonderful Mother in Law in the world. If you follow my blog you know my Dad is in the VA because of Dementia and not being able to walk. My Mom lives with 2 of my siblings and my sister Cheryl is mostly responsible for all the financial stuff. My Mom's and Dad's social security barely covers their mortgage, bills and medications and sometimes like now my Mom's meds fall into the gap range and she/Cheryl has to pay full amount for them. She's gone a few days here and there without insulin because of it. Anyway, my most wonderful Mother in Law brought down a Christmas basket that her church gave out to the needy. It was supposed to be a Christmas basket but Mother in Law added to it. Family takes care of family is her motto and in my family the words married into/step/half or whatever the relationship is doesn't exist. Family is family. (Father in Law and his current wife do not believe in this motto. Their motto is money is better than blood...again a blog entry for another time. Maybe a scary story for Halloween next year) Anyway, she and her friend Janet brought down a carload of a Christmas basket. 12 rolls of paper towels (I thought of you Lori), multi packs of kleenex, 36 rolls of toilet paper, the big bottle of Tide detergent and Gain too, multiple can goods, 10 pounds of beans, a huge box of rice, bunches of hamburger meat, a Ham and a ton of other stuff too. I can't even list it all. This lady is definitely on Santa's nice list. I can't wait to see her on Friday and give her the biggest hug. Her explanation of why they brought it down early? It just didn't make any sense to unload it from my Brother in Law's truck, put it in her house and freezer and then load it all up again on Thursday back into his truck so he could bring it down on Christmas eve and she felt up to a road trip anyway. What did it matter that she didn't get home until after 1 a.m. that night and had Christmas services at church the next morning? To her it didn't matter and that brings to mind the old saying from Dr. Seuss.........Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. (paraphrased) I'm glad my Mother in Law is a person that MATTERS.

So.....

what's the most bizarre Christmas gift you've ever wanted? Chris wants to get me a gift that costs about $100. It's something that has to do with a computer or printing pictures I'm pretty sure since he went into Office Depot and looked at it. He wanted me to go in the store too but I know he'd have shown me what it was that he's wanting to get me and I don't want to know ahead of time. I told him to just get me a little something since payday falls the week after Christmas this year and then get me the big gift that weekend. He couldn't think of a thing to get me so I finally told him what I really, really, really have been wanting. An ironing board. Yep, straight up and simple. So today I was at Target and found one for a little under $13. I told him about it and he told me to go ahead and get it. Now I can prettify all of our clothes and hang them up instead of pulling things out of hampers or folding things and trying to stuff them into drawers. Yeah! Now to get him to actually buy me some perfume for an actual Christmas morning gift. ;) LOL.