Monday, February 6, 2012

Blacksheep

I'm tired of being the blacksheep of the family. Little sister had nephew's birthday on Saturday. No invite. Brother told me that they were all going to see Dad. I wasn't feeling good so I didn't ask to go with them. Good thing cause he lied to me. They went to my sister's house for nephew's birthday party. Never said a word to me. It hurts so much that we weren't included. It's not fair. I've tried so much to get it all settled with sister but she won't meet me half way even. You can't settle something just from one side. I'm going to take the kids to her house tomorrow evening to drop off a birthday card for nephew with $10 in it. What's really bad is I'm sick and on two different antibiotics and my physical and emotional state is not good to start with. I won't be going to the door because of it. Don't need any little babies catching this from me. I just want to have my sister back. How does that make me out to be the monster that I must be in her mind for her to not want me to be her sister back? What's really bad is that my Mom and them won't even try to help get us all healed. I mean they lied to me about Saturday. I would rather have not known and found out the way I did on Facebook alone. My sisters Mother in Law posted pictures of my Mom holding the new baby. I have only gotten to see him in pictures. My heart is broken. I've got to realize that she doesn't want me and that I don't matter to the rest of the family either in the long run. At least that's the way it feels right now.