Merry Christmas!!!  I hope this Christmas season finds you all well and happy.  We've been having a hard time financially since about June.  It's just been one thing after another after another.  I'm waiting for a settlement from a major insurance company and they keep delaying paying me every chance they get.  We've had several things break that I had to pull from bill money to pay because I didn't have that money yet.  I got a lawyer in July and was told it was a simple case, six to eight weeks.  Yeah its going on 5 months now.  The release was signed but then I was told that the insurance company didn't know I was married and now want my husband to sign the release.  They said its because Texas is a community state.  Whatever!  But because we've had such a hard time financially my kids aren't going to have a Christmas.  I've always managed before to get them things but since I was strung along by the lawyer as well as the insurance company and had to pull money from bill money its just not going to happen this year.  They never ask for anything huge either.  It seemed this year that every time we'd be recovering and able to be caught up with bills and maybe get to save  Chris's driving partner would be out for a month and then we'd have to start all over again.  As you all know his partner passed away out of the blue in October.  I thought that since I should be getting the settlement by Christmas that we wouldn't have to worry.  Uh, no......I know better than to count my chickens before they hatch but I had hope and was continually reassured that I'd have the settlement by Thanksgiving, then it was the next week, oh somebody must have gone on vacation and the last one was you'll have it for Christmas.  I don't think we will.  I'm proud of my children and the way they are handling the news that there's no gifts for Christmas.  We raised them that way but never ever have we not had anything for them.  I know Christmas isn't about the gifts and my children have never been about gifts for any season be it their birthdays or as in this case Christmas but just being strung along for 5 months has worn me to a frazzle.  I wanted to give them what they each wanted this year.  They never go for big ticket items.  Jessi just wants a couple of anime drawing books and Nick is always happy with video games even if they're cheap ones.  I never thought there'd be a Christmas where I have to choose to be able to feed us or give presents.  This post is mostly just a vent.  A place for me to get it off of my chest.  Chris doesn't really get it.  He thinks I should be able to call the insurance company and tell them give me my money but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.  I'd hate to see how they would have dragged it out if I hadn't have gotten a lawyer. 

Merry Christmas dear friends and followers.  May God bless and keep you this holiday season and bring you joy and blessings in the next year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you and yours will be having a wonderful day.  We're expecting mother in law to come in tomorrow.  She'll be here until Saturday probably.  Not long enough at all since we only get to see her 2 other times during the year but it'll have to do. 

It just seems like there's not much going on and then BAM!  it goes bad.  Chris's driving partner Carl passed away today.  He was around 65 and just passed away in his chair at home.  His wife found him and that's about all I know right now.  He had been off of work for a foot problem but that was almost healed and the doctor was going to release him for work next week.  He has had heart problems but that was under control so he should have been coming back to work.  I'm just in shock and I know Chris is too.  I wanted Chris to get out of being in a driving partnership with him but I didn't wish Carl any ill will.  This is just beyond believing.  My heart breaks for his wife Donna.  She has been wanting him to retire for a year or so but he just wouldn't do it.  My prayers go out to his family too.  It's just so sad but I'm glad he was at home with his wife and family when it happened. 

I didn't realize its been March since I've posted anything.  Again, a lot has happened in the past few months.  My brother got out of rehab on April 27th.  He had in home therapy but is still not doing well.  His overall health isn't good at all.  He seems to be blind in his right eye and has to go and see a neural opthomalogist at at the end of July.  Anyway in between then and now  Cheryl got her learners permit.  She passed the written test with a high grade of 97 I believe.  She was driving since mid April around and about and then in May I started her on the interstate.  She was doing well.  I took her to take her driving test in the beginning of June but they told her she had her appointment wrong and so she didn't get to take it then.  We went to another one in our county and got her set up for the test the next week but she failed it when she didn't pass parallel parking.  The guy didn't even take her out driving so I don't know why she failed if that's the only part of the test she got to take but anyway we got her set up to try again on June 26th but we had an accident on June 22nd on the interstate.  She was driving and over compensated and hit the wall in the middle.  The very hard, hard concrete wall.  I ended up with a nasty scratch on my neck (left a scar) and 4 bruises on the left side of my body from the seat belt.  She had a few bruises but ended up in a back brace because she fractured the T12 and maybe the one above it in her back.  She goes back to the doctor on August 3rd to get checked out but I have a feeling she'll still be in the back brace.  She will be trying for her license again but we will hopefully be having a smaller vehicle for her to use.  She'll have to start all over again though and get her written test again but that shouldn't be a problem for her hopefully.  My brother Patrick's truck is totaled to the tune of $20,000.  She definitely went big.  I had my first ambulance ride ever out of it.  Sure wish I would have just been a passenger though.  The only good thing about the whole incident?  We got my sister Kelly back.  She came to the hospital and we did a lot of talking.  Its still a little strained but its a start.  I told Cheryl God say hah!  Ya'll are a family and you're getting back together now.  So between getting back with Chris's Dad and now having my sister back for almost a month life is indeed a whole lot better in spite of how it went to get there.

Here's the injury that left a scar on my neck.  I hope to never have an airbag go off on me again.  That's one experience I never expected.

In the Last Month......

a lot has happened. A WHOLE lot. I had a place on my head that started out as a pimple under the skin but turned into cellulitis. Very painful and looked awful. Usually people get it in their legs but no, not me. It had to be where it'd be noticed. About a week before that I got a lump under my arm that I thought was a bug bite. It got to be as big as an egg but I was able to use hot compresses and get it to a head and get it drained. I wasn't worried about that. I went to the ER for the bump on my head and found out that the thing under my arm was MRSA. So I left the ER with two prescriptions for antibiotics. They had tried to drain both places but of course couldn't do anything with either. I wasn't worried about my under arm since I knew it was healed but they seemed more worried about that than the head thing. Oh well. I went to my doctor a few days later and she tried to get the core out of the one on my head but couldn't cause it hurt to badly. A day or so later I was able to do that plus I started using Ichthammol Ointment which is a nasty black looking tar smelling ointment that works amazingly well. Between the antibiotic and this ointment the bump was gone in about 2 days. I also got a new antibiotic for a place on my foot that is rashy looking. It helped some but not totally but that's okay. Now we're up to March 15th. I get a phone call from my Brother in law that his Dad had a heart attack. Now if you've followed my blog you know we've been on the outs with Father in law and his wife for almost 9 years. Brother in law thought he had called Chris but I told him to go ahead and call Chris and then have him call me. Chris was driving 3rd shift that week so he didn't get woken up to that news. The kids were on Spring break so we went and saw his Dad in the hospital on Friday morning the 16th. He looked wonderful in spite of the heart attack. They put a stent in his heart and with his diet change he should be okay. We had a nice visit but haven't gotten to see them again yet because his wife has bronchitis and is still sick with it. I went to my Mom's that Friday night to see my nephew John who came to visit with his wife and kids. They live in the Houston area so we don't get to see them too often. My brother Patrick looked awful. I asked him what was wrong and he said he just didn't feel very good. Said he was overtired. John was supposed to take him and Cheryl with them on Saturday to Six Flags. They didn't make it. Patrick had a stroke early the next morning in his left brain. He's blind in both his eyes on the right side of each eye. Kind of like vertical blinds that are only half open is how it was explained to us. It's very rare for a patient to lose their eyesight like that. He's also paralyzed on his right side on his arm and leg and has a long haul in front of him. They gave a target release date for him of April 13th but I don't think he'll be ready anytime soon. He was able to sit up on the side of the bed yesterday with Cheryl and my help but he's incontinent and doesn't get the signals in time to get someone to help him to the bathroom. We've been told he'll need 24/7 care but that's not possible at home. My sister and brother that live there with my Mom and him both have to work. I'm only 3 blocks away but I'm unable to help him because of my own health and Mom had a stroke about 5 years ago so she's not capable either. Hopefully my sister Cheryl can find a place for him that he qualifies for. He was 100% disabled and on medicare before his stroke so hopefully there's a skilled nursing program somewhere that can help him with more rehab. We'll see or as Mom has been saying......time will tell. Oh that Saturday (17th) I took Chris to Urgent Care. He had an ear infection. Got antibiotics for him and he was miserable all weekend. He was written out til Tuesday but I ended up taking him back to the doctor then because he just wasn't getting better. He ended up on the verge of bronchitis so he got a Z pack for that. And me? Oh yeah I was sick too but of course being Mom there wasn't time to get me taken care of. I was pretty sure I had strep but I was able to function as long as I took ibuprofen for the pain. I had to take my sister to work and back for the last two weeks and the driving is killing me because of my carpal tunnel but what can she do? She has no other way unless our other brother isn't at work and so far his schedule hasn't worked out with hers yet. It'll get better somehow or other. Oh I finally went to the doctor on Tuesday (27th) and I did have strep. I'm allergic to penicillin so I thought I'd be on another antibiotic for 10 days but (yeah me!) they have a Z pack equivalent for people who are allergic to penicillin. So I've been on 4 antibiotics in a month. I hope I don't see another one for a long time! I did get to see Dad a few times within the last month. He's doing great and we had a really nice visit the Sunday before everything went downhill starting with Chris's Dad having a heart attack. I'm so glad this month is at the end. Please let April be nice. I'll even take all the April Showers we can get as long as we get it with no sickness from anybody.

Blacksheep

I'm tired of being the blacksheep of the family. Little sister had nephew's birthday on Saturday. No invite. Brother told me that they were all going to see Dad. I wasn't feeling good so I didn't ask to go with them. Good thing cause he lied to me. They went to my sister's house for nephew's birthday party. Never said a word to me. It hurts so much that we weren't included. It's not fair. I've tried so much to get it all settled with sister but she won't meet me half way even. You can't settle something just from one side. I'm going to take the kids to her house tomorrow evening to drop off a birthday card for nephew with $10 in it. What's really bad is I'm sick and on two different antibiotics and my physical and emotional state is not good to start with. I won't be going to the door because of it. Don't need any little babies catching this from me. I just want to have my sister back. How does that make me out to be the monster that I must be in her mind for her to not want me to be her sister back? What's really bad is that my Mom and them won't even try to help get us all healed. I mean they lied to me about Saturday. I would rather have not known and found out the way I did on Facebook alone. My sisters Mother in Law posted pictures of my Mom holding the new baby. I have only gotten to see him in pictures. My heart is broken. I've got to realize that she doesn't want me and that I don't matter to the rest of the family either in the long run. At least that's the way it feels right now.