Weepy

I'm weepy tonight. A good online friend of mine is going through a struggle with her Mother right now that's similar to what we're going through with my Dad. She doesn't have dementia but some other problems that have caused her to just snap at once. We watched my Dad go down hill over the last 3 years and I can't imagine how hard it is to just see it happen almost overnight. I'm just crying over the last email I read from my friend. I don't wish anything like this stuff on anybody much less a good friend. I'm praying for my friend, her Mom and their family. I hope her Mom will be okay and its just a short period that she'll be unwell. I just wish I had words of comfort to send to her.......heck, I just wish I could give her a big hug.



Another thing that has me weepy is that my parents 50th wedding anniversary is on August 10th. We had a huge party for my mother's parents when they celebrated the same anniversary. We should be planning a huge party for my parents. Also my Dad's 72nd birthday is on July 12th. Both of his parents passed away shortly after their 72nd birthdays. His Dad within a month of his and his Mom within a few days of hers. I'm definitely going to be holding my breath for the next month or so. My Dad always says he'll never live longer than his parents did.

Doctor, Doctor

I love my doctor. She's fantastic and has never steered me wrong on anything. She became part of our family when Jessie was a year old so we've been seeing her for 10 years now. I know its weird to say she's part of the family but since she sees all 4 of us and is a family practitioner we consider her ours. LOL. Of course in our family anybody we like becomes part of our family. One reason I like her is that when we first met her she was very pregnant with her second child. We just barely got to see her before she was on maternity leave but that's okay cause we were all healthy back then. The other reason is that she's only a couple of years younger than me and her kids are right behind my two in age also. So when I go in there and say hey Jessie is this or Nicky is that she knows exactly what I mean. Now she knows I know what some stuff is so all I have to do is just call in and ask for something and she will prescribe it for me usually. Of course the most I've ever asked for is ear ache medicine and maybe antibiotics for an ear infection. She's very easy going when you go to see her too. Now I finally convinced my sister Cheryl she needed a family doctor instead of going to the ER or one of the walk in clinics and got her to go and see our doctor. She liked her a lot and the doctor thought that my sister was me for a minute. Cheryl said she was in the hallway getting weighed and blood pressured when a lady walked by and said hey girl to her. Cheryl said she thought it was just a very friendly place. Then the doctor went into the room and asked her if she knew she had a twin? LOL. We've gotten that a lot since Cheryl was about 20 or so. I can see similarities but I sure don't see twinness when I look at her. So anyway she got her initial visit over and liked the doctor. She goes back for a chick test in August and the doctor wants fasting blood work from her too since we're all diabetic and have a few things in family history that would show up too. She'll just have to go in anytime that's good for her and just do lab work not a visit. Oh and she said she's going to do an EKG on Cheryl too and wondered to her if she had done one on me yet. I guess when I go back for my next visit I'll get asked that one. LOL.

Blog Background

So....I found out the hard way that they changed how the blog backgrounds are done now. I like to make my own so I had a couple of frustrating days playing but finally got it all figured out by reading how to install at Dotty Dot Dot Design. You can find Dotty's blog here
http://dottydotdotdesign1.blogspot.com/

Thanks for unknowingly helping out a fellow graphic geek. Now I know what I'm doing I'll have to figure out something better eventually.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy has this wonderful meme on Fridays. You can find her here.

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html

FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing
, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

I started this book late last night based on the first line so its my choice for First Line Friday this week. I'm pretty sure Kathy sent me this book. From now on I need to put post its on books sent to me by friends and given to me by family so I can remember who gave me which book. LOL. So this book is

The book is Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy. The cover art on this book is of a scarlet door and really catches your attention. Kathy always finds the best cover art books. You should do a coffee table book of your favorite covers Kathy.

Here's the first line.

New Year's Eve

On the radio show they were asking people what kind of a New Year's Eve did they really want.

I've never thought about it really. We usually stay home. Chris isn't one to drive out and about when he thinks there will be a lot of drunks at home. Some years we make it midnight and sometimes we don't. One year we went to Dallas because my brother had congestive heart failure. We left the kids with a babysitter the day before so that we could take my Mom and sister Cheryl around to turn in his car and get his last paycheck from work because he was going to be in the hospital a while and we found out later that he wouldn't really ever be able to work again because of it. That was the start of his decline of good health and it was the year of Y2K. Everybody was predicting doom and gloom and stocking up on water and beans. LOL. Anyway that was a really different New Year's Eve for us and ever since then we just usually stay home. We got home a few hours before midnight and I didn't make it. Chris did but not me. We all survived that year too. I think I'd really like to go out sometime with Chris for New Year's Eve especially now that the kids are older but I really doubt it'll ever happen. It doesn't help that he drives for a living so I can't blame him for wanting to be home when he's home.

Off

Feeling off or lost today. I really enjoyed seeing my Daddy yesterday and loved how it seemed part of him was there with us. But today I've been feeling lost. I always sent my Daddy yellow roses for Father's Day but we can't give him flowers in the hospital because he might throw the vase at the nurses when he's having a bad day. My sister took a couple of stems of daisies up to him yesterday but its not the same thing. It's just been bugging me so much today how much I'm missing my Daddy and he's not gone, but, then again he is gone. Its hard to explain these feelings I'm having. Chris should get it since he hasn't seen his Dad in 8 years but he doesn't. Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe its hormonal. I don't know. Looking at the pictures we took makes me realize how tiny he is looking again and his skin has that translucent look to it again too. I know he's not eating much anymore and he's taken to staying in bed more too. I know this is part of the process we'll be going through but its hard to stay light spirited but I try to do it for my Mom. She's been a rock for all of us and is very strong hearted. I did get to have a happy moment today. My brother did get a good picture of all 5 of us so I was very happy.

Happy Father's Day!

We had a good day yesterday with my Dad. I came into my Dad's room after everybody else but my sister Cheryl said that his face just lit up that we were all there. Even my brother Terry made it and brought his partner Jack. We had never met Jack but he's a good fit for the family and for Terry for sure. He's older by about 10 years than my brother but from seeing him yesterday he's exactly what my brother needs. I'm just glad that my brother is settling down and allowing himself to love and be loved. He never had any kind of relationship when his kids were growing up and he was a single Dad so its about time. We stayed with my Dad for about 2 hours. He doesn't walk at all anymore and my Mom said that he's been in his bed the last two times now that she's been up there to see him. That's not good but it's to be expected. The only thing that ruined my day was when I looked at all the pictures I took and the one I wanted the most to turn out well was horrible. I'm so disappointed and I'm really mad at my nephew John since he took it. He was playing around with the camera and being goofy so I knew I should have had somebody else take the picture. The picture in my header of my brothers, sisters and I is the only one of two pictures that we have of us all together where my sister Kelly is not a baby. I had wanted a new picture of all five of us but nope it didn't happen. My brother Patrick's face is half blocked behind my sister Kelly's head and John never even said a word. I should have looked better at the pictures but because I have the older Kodak digital camera the display area is small so I couldn't tell that his face was blocked. John was looking at us though so he should have said something. I hope my brother Terry will be able to get down again and we all get another one made soon. It was before Christmas last year since the last time we saw him so I just hope its not another 6 months. :( Yeah I know I'm being stupid about it but I just love my pictures so much and wanted this one that badly.

Currently Reading

I'm currently reading Wild Swans by Jung Chang. It's the story of a family during China's cultural changes from being dominated by the Japanese in the early 1900's through the Communist reign of Mao and through the current times. I love reading generational stories and biographies about women and their fight with their families for a better life always draw me in. This one is no exception. Here's the synopsis from the back of the book because I'm no good at explaining what its about much less giving reviews. LOL.

Blending the intimacy of memoir and the panoramic sweep of eyewitness history, Wild Swans has become a bestselling classic in thirty languages, with more than ten million copies sold. The story of three generations in twentieth-century China, it is an engrossing record of Mao's impact on China, an unusual window on the femal experience in the modern world, and an inspiring tale of courage and love. Jung Chang describes the life of her grandmother, a warlord's concubine, her mother's struggles as a young idealistic Communist; and her parents experience as members of the Communist elite and their ordeal during the Cultural Revolution. Chang was a Red Guard briefly at the age of foureen, then worked as a peasant, a "barefoot doctor," a steelworker and an electrician. As the story of each generation unfolds, Chang captures in gripping, moving---and ultimately uplifitng---detail the cycles of violent drama visited on her own family and millions of others caught in the whirlwind of history.

And to boot, I found it at Books A Million in their cheap book section. As I've said before I love going there and finding these little cheap treasures.

TBR Pile

or should I say box. It's overflowing so I decided to see what I have in there now and list them here. LOL. Plus I need to check them against my Goodreads bookshelf of to be read books too. If you don't know about Goodreads.com its a great site. It helps you keep your books organized into what you've read, are reading and have to read. I love that site. If you want to be my friend there here's a link to me. Just remind me that you found me there from my blog post.


http://www.goodreads.com/karenintexas


Here's my list in no particular order.


1. The Divine Husband by Francisco Goldman (Dollar Tree find)

2. Revenge of Innocents by Nancy Taylor Rosenberg

3. Delicious by Sherry Thomas

4. Killing Floor by Lee Child

5. Reading Between the Lines by Linda Taylor

6. To Save This Child by Darlene Graham (Harlequin Romance)

7. Killer Weekend by Ridley Pearson

8. Strange Bedfellows by Kasey Michaels (Harlequin Romance)

9. Bucksin Shotgun! by Kit Dalton (Western [Don't know if I'll read or not])

10. Careless Whispers (Harlequin Romance wannabe book)

11. Pieces of My Sister's Life by Elizabeth Joy Arnold (I've already started this
one but I have no idea how it got back into my TBR box. Putting it back on
nightstand.)

12. The Girl with the Golden Spurs by Ann Major (Western Romance)

13. In Care of Sam Beaudry by Kathleen Eagle (Harlequin Romance)

14. Remember When by Judith McNaught

15. The Texas Twins by Tina Leonard (Harlequin Romance)

16. Home to Eden by Margaret Way (Harlequin Romance)

17. Someone To Turn To by Marilyn Cunningham (Harlequin Romance)

18. The Bone Parade by Mark Mykanen

19. Loving Evangeline by Linda Howard (Harlequin Romance)

20. Harrigan's Bride by Cheryl Reavis

21. A Baby Between Them by C.J. Carmichael (Harlequin Romance)

22. The Midwife and the Lawman by Marisa Carroll (Harlequin Romance)

23. Renegade Millionaire by Kristi Gold (Harlequin Romance)

24. Marriage by the Book by Joan Johnston (Harlequin Romance)

25. Counting on a Cowboy by Karen Sandler (Harlequin Romance)

26. Luke (The Cowboys) by Leigh Greenwood (Western)

27. Fully Engaged by Catherine Mann (Harlequin Romance)

28. Lone Star Legacy by Roxanne Rustand (Harlequin Romance)

29. On the Line by Anne Marie Duquette (Harlequin Romance)

30. Here and Then by Linda Lael Miller (Harlequin Romance)

31. Forbidden Love by Karen Robards

32. Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy

33. Guardian Angel by Julie Garwood

34. The Scroll of Seduction by Gioconda Belli

I thought I was below 30 by now but Kathy just sent me a box of books recently and also got a few from my Mom and Cheryl so I'm back up there again. LOL. I didn't realize there was so many Harlequin Romance in the box but I love to read them too. As you can tell I'm an eclectic reader. I'll read anything. :D

First Line Friday

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author
say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel.
The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or
cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as
many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and
author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also,
share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought
provoking...scary...funny?



It's been a while since I've participated in First Line Friday. I just grabbed this book last week at BAM in their cheap book section. I love cheap, obscure books. Some of my best reads have been from that section. LOL. I can't remember if I picked up this one for the back cover synopsis or the first line but its all good right? The book is The Scroll of Seduction by Gioconda Belli and its about Queen Juana of Castile and her devotion to her husband King Philippe the Handsome. I think Kathy's period piece reading is rubbing off on me. I've really been enjoying them again lately. Thanks Kathy. Anyway here's the first line from the Scroll of Seduction.


Manuel said he would tell me the story of the Spanish queen, Juana of Castile, and her mad love for her husband, Philippe the Handsome, but only if I agreed to certain conditions.

Well, of course, this grabbed my attention. First, royals never seem to be madly in love in books or history. There's only one example I can think of...Victoria and Albert. I'm sure there are more if I think about it. Second, why is Manuel using the story to get the girl narrating to do his bidding? What's in it for him and then her too except a good story? LOL, time will tell when I get to read this book I'm sure.

Plans Changed

Well, my plans got changed. Chris isn't going to make it in until Sunday morning sometime. At least he'll make it in for Father's Day. He'll just be in on Sunday and Monday and have to head back out on Tuesday. So my plans to see my Dad today are changed til tomorrow but that's okay. We'll go and see him earlier in the day and hopefully he'll be up for a good long visit. I found him a Father's Day shirt to give him. It says 'This is how a cool Dad looks'. Its a tradition for me to always give him a Tshirt for Father's Day and he always liked them too. The kids are going up to see him this time too. My sister Cheryl said that he's very skinny looking but still I want them to see him cause you just don't ever know what might happen. Besides it'll make him happy to see them too. Chris is going to make out like a bandit this Father's day. I had already given him a tshirt and 3 books for it. It was two Star Wars books -Omen and Outcast- and then the 1st book in a series that he's starting to read called Amber & Ashes by Margaret Weis. He had already found the 2nd and 3rd at a truckstop. They're Amber & Iron and Amber & Blood and it seems like it'll be a series I like too. It's part of the Dragonlance storyline but separate if that makes sense. We went to the Russell Stover factor outlet store in Corsicana yesterday. I remember why I don't go there very often anymore now that I spent $83 there. LOL. We got Chris a nice plaque to hang on the wall from his favorite college team. Hook 'em Horns! The plaque reads....A Texas fan lives here and has the horns icon and UT symbol on it and of course lots of burnt orange color on it. That's from Jessie. Nicky picked out a black coffee mug with the word Texas on it with their version of orange M&M's in it. I got him two huge Smore's candies the make there also. This morning at Walmart I picked up his Father's Day Tshirt too. His says Dad Rocks and has an electric guitar on it and also got him two bags of Lifesaver Gummies cause they're his favorite. He'll be having his favorite dinner Sunday night too. Spaghetti. He can never get enough of it but I get tired of it so I don't cook it very often for him. We plan to get to the movies on Monday to see Shrek and then to AAFES for him to spend his gift certificate after that. That's about all of our weekend plans now so lets see if they work out.

Visiting My Dad

I haven't gotten to go and see my Dad in a while. With school ending and year end things going on there and then not feeling well and getting strep the month of May and first half June just slipped by me. I'm going to take the kids up Friday evening hopefully to see him. I need to wait for my sister to get off of work though because for some weird reason my Dad gets upset when I'm there and she's not with me. My Mom will be there of course but I'd like a good visit again since its been a long time. We have to go on Friday evening because Chris will not probably get home until late, late Friday or early Saturday morning. That just leaves him having one whole day off and that's Father's day on Sunday and with all I have to do to get him back ready for work on Monday I need Sunday for that. Also, he'll be driving in home so that means he'll need to sleep when he first gets in. He wants to go to the movies to see Shrek on Saturday but I don't want him going on no sleep even though he says it'll be fine. I'm thinking we'll just spend Friday at my Mom's and I'll leave the kids sleeping there with them and bring Chris home and sleep a while and then go all the way back to my Mom's after he sleeps and we can see the movie at the theater there. After the movies he wants to go to Ft. Hood to spend the gift certificate they gave him for 10 years of service at work. I have no idea what he'll get but its for $200 so we'll see what he does. Will he be selfish and just spend it on himself or will we get a new TV for the livingroom? LOL. We'll see what happens on Saturday. I told him wasn't it nice that work thinks he's worth $20 a year to them? Breaking it down doesn't make it seem like so much but I never got anything for 10 years of working (when I worked) so its a whole lot better than nothing. Okay so I planned the end of the week and weekend. Let's hope my plans don't go awry. They usually do so that's why I don't plan ahead too much.

Bunny Hop

http://droppedstitches72.blogspot.com/

Hi. If you found me through the Bunny Hop link thanks for coming by. My blog isn't anything special. I just pretty much post my feelings and thoughts here as I need. Whether there are things going on healthwise with my parents or brother or just fun things. I try to get here at least once a week sometimes I do get here daily. As you can read in the post before this one I mainly write about my family and the things that are going on with my Dad and his Dementia. Sometimes though we do have good things going on and I try to remember to post about that stuff too. Welcome to my blog and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Meet and Greet Monday

http://southernloves.blogspot.com/




Kathy led me to Meet and Greet Monday. It sounds like a lot of fun. I've never done any blog hopping.

Welcome to my blog. I put my heart on my sleeve here a lot. Hence the title Deep in the Heart. That and the fact that I'm a native Texan made the title seem appropriate. LOL.

My family has had its ups and downs in the last few years with my parents health. My Mom had congestive heart failure and then a blood clot on her brain and finally a stroke that left her with not much use on her right side. She can walk still and use her right hand somewhat and speak clearly so that's a blessing in disguise. In between her bouts in the hospital my Dad would be in for different things too. He has a bad heart and had a stent put in and then also he had a really bad staph infection that had him in the hospital for 20 days. Either one parent or the other would be in the hospital or my brother who has a bad heart would be there. It's been a rough few years and now my Dad has been diagnosed with Dementia and its really hard. Things are going well right now so I'm on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop since its been going well.
I found out that typing out my thoughts and feelings here helps me to not go crazy when things aren't going so well. Also when they are going well its fun to put the great stuff going on too. Anyway, here's my blog. Enjoy the ride!

Blog Hops

I'm not much on doing blog hops but thought I'd give a couple a try because Kathy recommended them. She's never led me astray on anything in the blog world. Bear with me and I'll get them both posted soon.

I'm Back!

Not that I was gone anywhere but my internet was iffy. I hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. Nicky was having fanfiction withdrawals. LOL. I gotta admit I was having withdrawals of my own too but not as badly as I thought I ever would have. I was able to get on here and there as the wind blew. Literally! The wind out here where we are is always blowing but the last week we've had some really strong winds. I guess the storm that blew in Tuesday morning finally did it in. The tech guy said the setting on the dish was at 85 and it was supposed to be in the 150's. Wow! What a difference. Now I'm trying to catch up with what I missed online. Hopefully I'm not too far behind.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turn the dreaded 49 today. Hmm....I don't know how I feel about that. I wasn't planning anything but my siblings decided we'd get together at my sister Kelly's house and celebrate it. So, we're going to get together and play Karaoke on the Wii and eat hamburgers. My not so subtle sister Cheryl (say that 5 times fast) came right out and asked me what kind of cake I wanted so I told her an ice cream cake. White and chocolate and it doesn't matter which is the cake and which is the ice cream as long as its white and chocolate somehow or the other. We don't have to be at Kelly's house until around 12. The kids are staying with my Mom and them until Monday. It was nice to wake up to no alarm and no kids this morning. I woke up to a very nice husband this morning...::wink::wink::and colored the gray out of my hair. I'm not sure what shade its going to be since my hair is naturally dark brown to almost black but at least the gray is covered...mostly. I still have a few silver strands here and there but its the best I can do without my glasses on. It might have some auburn/reddish tint to it when it dries. We'll see. Yesterday Chris took me out to eat for my birthday. We ended up at a joint in Killeen cause we thought we were going to go shopping at Ft. Hood but changed our minds. We went to a place called C&H Hawaiian Grill. The food is fabulous. They just opened another one in our next town over so we'll definitely go and try that one too. Chris had the pork ribs and I got the mixed plate. Mine had kahlua pork, terriyaki chicken and brisket and they both had two scoops of rice and macaroni salad. They use this sauce on everything that tastes fantastic. It's slightly sweet but not overpowering. It was on the rice too. I hate white rice so I never eat it but their rice was delicious. I don't know if it was the sauce or that it was like sticky rice maybe. I just know I'm going to be starving the next time we go so I can eat everything. My plate was $7.95 and Chris's $6.95 and we both couldn't finish everything. I definitely would like to get a plate for my Dad from there and take to him at the VA for lunch one day. He was stationed in Hawaii for about 3 years when he was in the Navy in the late 50's. They have some more traditional dishes listed too so I'd love to try some of them. I was surprised though that I didn't see anything with Spam on the menu. LOL, maybe its because we're in Texas and not Hawaii huh?