Christmas Party

I took my Mom up to the VA last Wednesday (12/15) for the Christmas party for the residents where my Dad is living. He was so very uncomfortable. I know my Mom doesn't think we'll have him much longer but I already told her I don't want to go next year. Dad just wanted to be in his room. He's always been a loner and while I know it wouldn't be good for him to be alone a lot they do have him in activities where he's not alone. I know I'm not making sense. I just can't get into words how difficult the party was for him. They only allowed 2 people to come to the party and Dad kept asking about everyone. It was just too many people and too noisy for him. I'd rather he not know me than be so ill at ease and saying help every 5 minutes like he did before we finally left.

Why?

I can't figure you people out at all. Why wasn't my family ever good enough for you? You haven't seen your son or your grandchildren in 8 years now. I hear how wonderful you and your wife treat brother in law and his family and it breaks my heart. You got them big boucoup presents for Christmas this year. Why were we only given re-gifts when we got gifts at all? Why couldn't we have Christmas with you on Christmas instead of in February? Why were we only allowed at your house when you could show off for the neighbors? Why did you throw my son over on his 5th birthday party after begging to give it for a gun show so we had to have his party on a Thursday evening? Why did your wife say my kids are YOUR grandchildren like she did? Not only said it but in front of me and the children.

Backstory

Father-in-Law and my husband's mother are divorced and have been since he was around 11. He's been married about 5 times overall. His latest wife and he have been married 14 years now. She's only about 4 years older than me. I have never been left alone in a room with my Father-in-Law. His wife is very insecure and I guess she thinks I'll go for Daddy. The thought of that makes me sick. I have a great husband and thankfully he takes more after his Mom than his Dad. Brother-in-Law is more like Dad but with enough of Mom thrown in to not be too bad at least. Three days after my husband and I married Father-in-Laws wife showed up and proceeded to inform me did I know why Father-in-Law and Mother-in-Law divorced? I told her no I didn't know and didn't need to know. She told me that they divorced because Mother-in-Law was a LESBIAN. Okay. Well, she's not and I never thought she was either. This stupid lady is so insecure that she thought I'd be scared of my husband's mother for being a lesbian. Nope. No way, no how. I did tell her she was insecure and that it wasn't her place to tell me about Mother-in-Law. This lady and my Father-in-Law weren't even married yet. Definitely none of her business. Father-in-Law loves to tell tall tales come to find out. He told current wife that he came home and found Mother-in-Law locked in their bedroom with her best gal pal and that he had to break the door down to get to her. Okay big lie. I've been to that house. The door is still in the original door frame. There's no damage around the door latch/lock area. He told that tall tale because he didn't want to look like the bad guy. The bad guy he is. He's a big time cheater and had cheated on Mother-in-Law since the first year of their marriage. He cheated so badly that he married her cousin by marriage after he divorced her. Guess what? He cheated on that marriage too and I have no doubt that he has cheated on his current wife either. I just don't get why he would want to label Mother-in-Law with the Lesbian label and then leave his 8 and 11 year old sons to grow up with her and have to live down those lies. I just added this part of the story so you could see I've been listening to the lies from both Father-in-Law and his current wife since my husband and I were married for only 3 days. Now they are taking stories we told them about stuff our kids did and saying they happened at their house when my kids were little. They said our kids colored on their TV and threw a set of keys at it too. We set those stories straight with Brother-in-Law. Those two things happened at our house and they weren't even there. I guess they feel better about lying about us than telling the truth that we're not good enough for them. It makes me so sad that my Dad isn't really here anymore so my kids don't have him as a Grandpa but the Grandpa they have won't be there for them. The kids have a band concert coming up on Tuesday (14th) and I would love to have Father-in-Law come and see but until my husband straightens out a few things with him it won't be happening. This is one fight that I can't settle. Father-in-Law has told Brother-in-Law that its more or less my fault. That his wife hasn't done anything wrong. Yeah, that's what he thinks and I never set him straight because I was taught to respect my parents and not go tattletelling on somebody when they lie about me or mine. Of course, my Mom and Dad never had Father-in-Law and his current wife as their in-Laws either. I might have been taught different if they had.

Moved

My Mom and siblings got moved in down the street and around the corner from me. Now to get the odds and ends from the old place and get everything unpacked. I didn't do any of the moving of the stuff. They hired a small moving company but I can help with the unpacking and that's what I plan to do today after my Mother in Law goes home. Here's a picture from Thanksgiving day of almost the whole family. We're only missing my Dad, my brother Terry and nephew John.

:)

Finally got to go and visit my Dad again. Between the small paychecks and gas prices I wasn't able to go anywhere very much. He didn't get out of bed this time and looks so small. He called me 'her' and didn't know me really but that's okay. I think he knew me by the end of the visit. As long as he remembers my Mom is all that matters anyway.

Mixed Emotions

I'm really happy because my Mom and siblings are moving not far from us. Walking distance except I can't walk it of course. They'll be about 3 blocks from here. I'm sad though because her house is going to be foreclosed on in December. They were supposed to get a modification loan and the bank strung them along for about 7 months before demanding money and then informed them that even though they paid the money it didn't mean they would get approved for the mod loan. Rather than paying up and taking a chance of not having anywhere to go they found this place to rent not far from us. My brother has been getting sicker so it's a blessing just in case something happens with him. Really the only bad thing is my Dad is still in the VA in that town but still we'll be visiting him the same and I'll be able to take my Mom on Mondays too when I take Chris to work. The mobile home they'll be renting is huge and my sister will finally have a real room with a door instead of an alcove area. I'm hoping we can get them moved by Thanksgiving. We'll find out soon enough. The lease will be signed today. There's a window to be fixed and the deck railings on the front and back porch and a few cosmetic things. Some cleaning to be done too.

Wide Awake

I woke up and the clock read 3:33. There's supposed to be a spirtiual meaning when you wake up at that time. I'm wide awake. I will make myself go and lie back down in a little bit because we have a long day ahead of us and I don't want to crash and burn too early. We're celebrating Nicky's birthday today. It was on Nov. 11th but we're getting together with extended family to have cake. It should be fun. Also, my Mom's house is going to be foreclosed on so my sister is looking for somewhere to rent and they are going to try to get over here where we are. They'll be a couple of blocks away from us so it shouldn't be too bad. My brother had an episode when he went to pick up my sister from work yesterday. Thank God my little sister was with him because she ended up having to drive them all back home. He said he got really dizzy and then sick to his stomache and threw up something that looked like blood. Hopefully it was just his blood sugar being too low or his blood pressure being low too and nothing major to worry about. He's very sick anyway and has major heart problems so it worries me this happened. I think them being closer will be a godsend for us all. Both of my sisters work and if something happens this way I'll be right there and not have to travel 30 miles to get there. Selfish? Yes. But still I would worry less with being closer to them. My sister said she would worry less too if they get out here by us so that made me feel less selfish at least.

Catscan Results

I went for a catscan yesterday and got the results a little bit ago. I have diverticulitis and have to make a major change in my diet. Need to add a bunch of fiber and the doctor wants me to take miralax every day to see if that'll help also. Goodbye meat and ice cream. I'll still have meat but definitely cutting portions in half. At least its nothing major and can be controlled by diet but wouldn't you know its almost time for the holidays when we have all our good food. LOL. I'll still enjoy the food just not so much. Chris better get in the mood for a food change for himself also. It won't hurt him or the kids for that matter either to have a diet change. Thank goodness it wasn't something worse than what it is. Oh, I added a nifty little fiber counter way at the bottom of my blog so if you want to keep up with certain counts you can. I read that women are supposed to have at least 21 grams of fiber a day. I sure have a lot of catching up to do with that count for sure. One good thing about fiber is it does make you feel full longer and it keeps your colon happy too.

Famous Last Words

Late August 1995 I told my boss that my Grandfather was not expected to be around much longer and that I would be taking the 3 days off that our company allowed for a grandparent passing. She then informed me it was only one day with pay and that I could only take that one day. I told her that I would take 2 vacation days with it then. Without batting an eyelash she blurted out these famous last words at me.

Work comes first, then family.

I don't think so I thought to myself. About a week later it was Labor Day weekend so my sister, brother and I went to visit our parents in Waco. Had a great time with them and heard even more how badly my Grandfather was doing. I came back to work that Tuesday and called my Dad and told him I wanted to quit my job and move to Waco. Can I stay with ya'll? He said okay so that day I gave my notice. My boss was flabbergasted when I told her I wanted to quit and was giving my two week notice. She kept demanding a different reason for quitting than the one I gave. I told her I wanted to quit because I wanted to move to Waco. She never took my answer as the real one. Oh well is all I'll say. I had been working for this company all my adult life, since I was 18 in fact. I loved the company but the current boss was wearing thin on my nerves. Once before I had tried to leave that department and go to another one but she more or less told me that I couldn't handle working anywhere else in the company. I wish I hadn't have let her intimidate me like she did. She had an employee spying on me but what made it really bad is that employee was a really close friend. I finally had enough is why I quit. I was 33 years old and about to make the biggest change and the best change of my life. More to follow tomorrow.

Weepy

but not crying if that makes sense. Today is Chris's 39th birthday. I met him shortly after his 24th birthday 15 years ago. We've been married 14 1/2 of those years. I'm used to him not being home for his birthday but for some reason this year I'm all sad about him not being home. Maybe its more hormonal for me this year because I'm in the start of menopause or maybe its just because my blood sugar is low and I should eat dinner. LOL. I don't know but I sure wish he was home. Normally he'd be home tomorrow but since he didn't go out to work til yesterday that's kind of impossible. He might be in Sunday morning but he won't be home to stay so he'll miss out on the kids as Zombies this year. We don't have very many Halloween years left either. Our kids have always gone for scary and gory costumes except for the one year we got them to be Drew and Mimi from the Drew Carey show. Also being broker than broke doesn't help either. I got his gift ahead of time and gave it to him back when we had money but I had wanted to get him something else when it was closer to time for it but that flew out the door. I hate being like this. It'll pass. It always does. Stupid hormones.

and again

Another crappy paycheck. The person who is screwing up my husband's paycheck better be glad I can't get ahold of her. She'd definitely know the right way to get it done if it were me training her. We can't afford these mistakes. At least I don't have to figure out how to buy tires or a water heater this time but still money I was counting on being in the bank isn't in the bank because of a mistake made in the payroll department. All I know is that if Chris screwed up more than once he'd have been fired or demoted at least. Hopefully it'll get straightened out but still there's no cash in our pockets in the meantime. At least I don't have a huge grocery list this time either but it sure would have been nice to pay all the bills that I needed to pay.

Update: Duh...I forgot that Chris's partner took off an extra week instead of just two. He was out one of the two weeks on this check because he thought his Mother was going to pass but she pulled through. So, this check is that week and the next week Chris did only drive the first shift. The next check will be another week of first shift but should have this week with 2nd and 3rd shift on it too so it'll be closer to being normal. I just will be holding my breath on the 2nd check of November. It's Thanksgiving and we've got to have gifts for Jessie and Nicky for Christmas at least and travel money to go to MIL's house then for sure. She's coming here for Thanksgiving. We don't get to see her very often as it is and I'd hate to not get to go for Christmas and she be without any family then. She does have somewhere else she can go but as long as we can physically go to her she shouldn't be alone for that holiday.

Long Time

gone. I haven't had much to say lately. We finally got a new water heater and Chris put it in really easy. I know I should have more faith in him but when it involves electricity I get the heebie jeebies. My Mom said I got shocked when I was 6 months old from putting a bobby pin in an outlet. I, of course, don't remember it but every time I have to plug something in or mess with electricity the hair on my arms stands on end so somewhere deep down inside I remember it I guess. LOL. We're planning to go and see my Dad on Saturday the 23rd. Chris is going too. Don't know if the kids will go or not. They love seeing Grandpa but its really boring for them to sit up there and listen to the same old stories over and over. The company Chris works for is changing our insurance over in January. So far I think our family doctor accepts the new insurance but I'll find out for sure once I get the info on the new plan. I'd hate to change now because she's been our doctor since Jessie was a year old and knows the whole family inside and out literally. My sister Cheryl has even started going to her. I think she's that good or it could be I'm just that comfortable with her. She's about 4 years younger than me and her 2 kids are right below mine in age so when I call up and say I need this or that she usually just sends me a prescription. The kids did great with their first report cards of the year. Jessie seems to be getting Math a little more this year than in the past. So far so good. Dad is doing okay. He's so skinny but he's hanging in there. He has a ton of stuff wrong with him and nothing has happened lately so I keep waiting to hear something about him. I've been having lots of dreams about him too. Not comforting ones but not really scary ones either. My brother Patrick isn't doing well. He and Dad seem to take turns with their health except Patrick doesn't have dementia at least. We survived the last three months financially somehow. I don't know how we did it and managed to have food but it worked out somehow. I hope that part of the year is over for a long while. I can handle one crisis at a time usually but 3 in a row was a little much for me. Chris just lets things roll of his back but I guess since I'm the one worrying about it he doesn't need to. Hopefully I'll be back sooner than two weeks this next time.

Happy Fall Ya'll!

The weather has been gorgeous here in central Texas. Lows in the 60's and highs in the 80's. I'm loving this weather. I went with my Mom and two sisters to see Dad today. He was having a really good day. He's even skinnier than he was before. My sister Kelly brought her son Phillip and Dad really enjoyed watching him play and run around the unit. After we visited with Dad for a couple of hours we all went to Souper Salad for lunch. It was so good. I haven't been there in forever. I forgot how good their gingerbread can be. Then they opened up a new branch of the library in Waco. It's so nice and huge. I can't wait to go back with my books I really want to read but not buy list. I picked up one by Diane Chamberlain called Cypress Point. Its one of her older ones so I don't know how I haven't read it before. Then I got a sci-fi read too called The Devil's Alphabet by Daryl Gregory. Then I came home and we're just going to laze around the rest of the day. It's been a weird week for me. Lots of driving and I'm not used to it so much anymore. I'm very swollen from it. Chris has been having to be picked up every other day this past week is why. Next week he's going to be gone all week so it won't be so bad on me. I hate him being gone but its what has to be done so we can live in all our glory of a doublewide mobile home. LOL. It'll be all ours in 10 years. Not much longer at all.

Kissing Papa bye bye.

The boss with the grandparents.

Strayed Much?

I've pretty much strayed away from how I wanted to use this blog. I wanted to talk about my Dad and the family and how we are handling how life is with someone who has dementia like my Dad has. I guess life just got in the way or should I say a string of bad luck? I did go and see my Dad a couple of weeks ago with my Mom, sister Cheryl and Jessie. We had a nice little visit but I haven't been back to see him again yet. Hopefully this weekend we'll get to go again. I forgot to mention that I ran into a friend from when I worked at KMart. Her Mom had Alzheimer's and was in her 80's and finally passed from it. I hated to hear it but its got to be better than not knowing anybody. My friend was lucky though that her Mom was able to be kept in a family home and be taken care of by family. We can't do that with my Dad because of how violent he gets and also he can't walk at all anymore. I know she didn't mean to make me feel bad but only forgot that my Dad is in the VA and that we can't just stay up there with him overnight and such. He does good to handle us for an hour or two at a time when we go up there. I wonder if its just a male/female thing? It'd be interesting to find that part out. My Mom and Cheryl went this past Saturday and visited with my Dad and Cheryl said his hands are starting to curl up from him not using them so much. I'm wondering if he has rheumatoid arthritis? His Mom had it and her hands got like that too. There's not much to talk about on my Dad right now. He's hanging in there. I can't believe its almost a year since he's been in the VA now.

These were taken the last time I got to go up and visit Dad.

CRAP! *Edit

Yeah! Somehow I finagled the bills and was able to get the new tires and 4 wheel alignment. I didn't want to spend the money but the tires were really that bad. Choosing between them and hot water wasn't easy at all.

Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap! The paycheck is screwed up! I don't even think I'll be able to buy groceries this week. Hopefully, I'll be able to get just some basic stuff. No tires for the car this time and I'm not even sure we'll be able to squeeze a water heater out of it either. I'm only going to pay the bills I have to but still I hate just getting by. We were doing so well and now its been just one thing after another. I told Chris he has to say something to somebody about the obvious mistake on his paycheck. If I can see it I don't know how they didn't see it when they were doing the accounting stuff. I'm just tired of all the bad luck we've been having lately when it comes to money. I'm not a money hungry person either. I don't mind just getting by usually but having no hot water really sucks. I just can't take another 2 weeks of none. I'll lay low a little bit and then get over it. I just don't want the kids birthdays to get screwed up. They never ask for anything big. I know a lot of their friends have huge parties and get gifts like its Christmas morning but we've never gone overboard on birthdays but we had wanted to do a little bit more since they're getting older and wanting more adult things. Hopefully the next check will be right cause that one has all the major bills coming out on it. Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!

Well,

it's been a quiet week. Still no hot water. We thought the water heater was working again but it wasn't. We did get one last hot shower out of it each at least. Thursday we have to get 4 new tires and an all wheel alignment so there goes $400. The water heater with installation will be another $600. Just hoping the paycheck will be big enough to cover both. We might have to wait another week or so on it anyway cause Chris might be out til next week. I have a phobia about workmen/workwomen being in my home when my hubby isn't so if Chris isn't home I'm not having the water heater done. Its bad enough I have to go and get the tires done. I don't think its a man's job or anything but I do so much of the home stuff on my own and have for the past 10 years I like to have Chris do what he can when he's home. He always does the yard work of course because I refuse to use his riding lawnmower. If something happened to that baby I'd never hear the end of it. I don't use his upright vacuum for that reason either. Every one I've ever touched has gone to the vacuum graveyard. We have a quick stick one that I use that's batter operated. I don't have a good record when it comes to vacuum's is all I can say. I've been waiting for House to come back and it finally has. It's off to a great start from what I can tell so far. Don't forget to breathe when you're watchign it tonight Diane!

CPAP Stuff

Well, Chris got his CPAP machine and I must say I haven't ever slept so good in my life. I guess it's been about 8 years or so that he's been snoring and then in the last 2 years that he's been snoring so bad that it effected my sleep. At first Chris got the nostril mask. It looked really uncomfortable to me so at his appointment to get the equipment I asked him if he really thought that was the one for him. He said yep. It is the one that just goes into the nostrils. It looked painful for sure but it actually worked. For about 3 days...on the 4th and 5th day he actually knocked or took it out towards morning. His doctor appointment went well. He actually was stopping breathing for up to 30 seconds for almost every minute he was sleeping that night during testing. No wonder bells and whistles went off. The first night he used the machine after he got it was wonderful except it was so quiet I had to turn on the fan in the bedroom for white noise. He POPPED out of bed on Friday at 5 a.m. I couldn't believe it. He hasn't popped out of bed in years. He went and got the regular mask that just covers the nose before he went back out to work on Tuesday and said that this one is definitely the one. LOL. He has 2 more times to trade in that mask in the next 30 days so we'll see if we need to make another trip to trade it in or not. He'll be in early on Saturday morning so I can't wait to sleep with him again and see if it was just a fluke or not that I slept so well also. All I know is I didn't need a nap like I usually do when he's home. So........what's good for the goose is definitely good for the gander (in this situation at least).

Oh, the Weather Outside was Frightful......

yesterday. I've never been scared of rainstorms but yesterday we had major RAAAIIIINNN and it was scary even for me. Our little bitty town didn't flood but the rest of our county apparently got a good bit of rain and the flooding was everywhere. We're not far from Ft. Hood (about 35 miles) which is a good thing because the soldiers were definitely needed to help. There was a mobile home park in Nolanville that flooded and a mobile home floated away with a lady inside of it. Very scary for me since that's what we live in too. We're on a hill so I don't have to worry about floating away but maybe sliding down the hill instead. LOL. Temple lost power for most of the day but I heard this morning that almost everyone has it back again. It's just too hot and wet to have to suffer sitting around in the dark too. There was one fatality where a car tried to drive across a flooded roadway and the driver drowned. Remember, if you come across a roadway filled with water to turn around, don't drown!

As If.........

I don't have enough to worry about. Chris went for his sleep study last night and it was determined he does have sleep apnea just like his brother and dad. We don't know official results but he said they woke him up and put him on a CPap machine because all the bells and whistles went off. We don't know if its because he stopped breathing which is the major reason for a CPap machine or if he's like his brother and just snoring so loud that its waking him up. I didn't doubt he had it but while waiting for him to get tested it was almost like he wanted to have it. I'm glad its all figured out that he needs something. Now we just gotta wait and find out. I guess we'll both be learning this together.

Woohoo!!!

We now have wonderful cold central air conditioning again. Once the techs got here it only took about 45 minutes to get the new unit installed and running again. Yeah!!!! The kids are going to be so happy that there rooms aren't like ovens anymore.

Ode to Air Conditioning

Central air conditioning is swell,
Central air conditioning is great,
Central air conditioning breaks
and now I ache.

Window units are swell,
Window units are great
Window unit will be in my living room window
Before too late.


As if you can't guess from my really bad poem our A/C went out last night. We found one online at Home Depot for $99 and are on our way there early this morning to pick one up. I just hope they have one. We were only able to scrap up a little over $100 to buy one so if they don't have that one I don't know what we'll do. We get paid on Thursday otherwise and I'll figure out where I can go during the hottest part of the day if I have to. Let's just hope we can get the cheap A/C window unit they had online.

School...Yeah!!

The kids start back to school on Monday. I think they're as ready to go back as I am for them to go back. LOL. They'll both be in the same school again. I can't believe I have two middle schoolers this year. Next year I'll have a Freshman in high school. Yikes! The years have just flown by. It seems just like yesterday that they were this little and more worried about how they looked for Halloween than anything else.



This was the last year I got to choose their costumes. They went as Drew Carey and Mimi from the Drew Carey show and they won second place in the costume contest at the Mall. They were 3 and almost 5. Now its just about the pumpkins and they don't like to trick or treat anymore.




So who knows what this school year will bring? I'm hoping they'll have a wonderful time being back in the same school together. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

This, That and Weird In Laws

Miss Emma got out of the hospital yesterday. Boy what a relief! I was so worried for her and the whole family. It's going to be a total lifestyle change for everybody but they're going to be good at it when they get it all figured out..


If you've read my blog for a while you know that we have had a falling out (7 years now) with my father in law and his wife. Quick backstory on it. My mother in Law and he divorced when hubby was about 11. He was a cheater from year one she said and why she stayed with him and his cheating ways is her story to tell. He cheated with a cousin by marriage to her so it was really bad. They married and I guess he continued to cheat on 2nd wife. They divorced and he met his current wife after that. He told her all kinds of lies about my mother in law and she proceeded to tell them to me 3 days after hubby and I married so she definitely has been on my bad side forever. She's about 20 years younger than him and only a few years older than me so she's never really called me her daughter in law and I'm definitely not her style of person. She picks and chooses her friends as to how they will benefit her life. I can't imagine just having friends like that. I would have missed out on a lot of wonderful people otherwise. Anyway, she's a loudmouth and thinks everyone should live like she wants them too. She was always saying things about my kids, about how big my daughter was at the age of 4 and how they were her husband's grandchildren. Finally, we stopped seeing them after hubby's father came to our house to see if we had heard anything from hubby's brother. Not to see us, the kids or to even see how we were doing but to ask about brother in law. Oh and to show off a new car they wanted to buy. Anyway, long story, and I could go on and on about them but that's plenty for now. If father in law wasn't with his current wife I have no doubt that he'd be in my children's lives. He also doesn't have any personal friends left from before they married. She's driven them all off with her attitude. Okay stopping that story now. What's really sad is they only live about 20 minutes from us. My kids are definitely missing out but I guess "Grandpa" doesn't think about them since he's got the two younger ones in his life now. :(


Anyway, they went down to see Emma while she was in the hospital. Okay that makes sense. Go and see her, make sure she's getting better and come home. Nope. They're staying until Sunday. They're not staying with brother in law and his family. They're staying at the Hilton. My mother in law told hubby that they've been at the Hilton more than they've been to see Emma or the family. I guess father in law decided he needed a vacation. Just doesn't make sense. His stupid wife had the gall to ask that they let Emma come home with them. I couldn't believe hubby when he told me that. Emma just got out of the hospital yesterday. She barely saw an Endocronologist today. They're just getting her started on the right dosages of insulin and they don't know what all everything will do to her yet when it comes to food and exercise. My father in law is diabetic but its type 2. Type 1 is a whole other ballgame especially when its in a child. Father in law's wife has been begging for Emma to come and stay a few weeks throughout the summer is what my sister in law has told me and she's told her no. Emma's not ready to spend the night with my mother in law who is local and maybe only 10 minutes from home. This was way before she was diagnosed with diabetes too. So can you imagine how she'd be being 4 hours from home with a Grandma she doesn't really care for? When Emma was in the hospital they brought a stuffed animal and balloons and when they left they told Emma they'd see her tomorrow. She told them she didn't want to see them unless they brought her another toy. Wow! Out of the mouths of babes for sure. Kids can see through people. Mine saw through her but because my Mom brought me up correctly I took 7 years of abuse from that woman before I finally said no more. It took her downing my children and finally my father in law before I said no more. Anyway brother in law said no way and now father in law's wife is mad at him. Maybe brother in law will finally get it and talk to his Dad about everything that she has said to my sister in law. My hubby never would but he did finally have enough and we stopped seeing them. I just wish father in law knew why we pulled away. I'm sure his wife has lied about a lot of stuff. Going by stories brother in law and sister in law have told me I know she has because she took stuff that happened in our home (kids throwing keys at tv and coloring on tv) and said they happened at her house. @@ (that's an eyeroll) Anyway that's the backstory on father in law and his wife or part of it anyway. My children are worth more to me than having to live UP to her example of life.

Wow! (Edit)

Just found out that our niece Emma (4 on Sept. 12th) has been diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. Shock, dismay and a lot of OMG's muttered over the phone to my sister in law Mellodie. She's in the ICU in Shreveport right now for a couple of days at least. I'm so worried for everybody. Mellodie is upset cause she can't be there at night with Emma cause of the baby. My brother in law Alan will be up there with her at night but still if you know how it is to be a Mom you want to be there 24/7. Mellodie said that is what her brother has but he didn't find out until he was 24. That was way after Mellodie was married and gone so she doesn't know anything first hand about it but I'm sure she'll know everything she can as fast as she can too. I wish I could be there for them but its just no way. School starts Monday and we're broke from buying school supplies and clothes. I'm going to research and see what I can find out about it all too. I'm diabetic but its Type 2 and they're different from each other. Emma's always been really healthy so its just so shocking to find this out. I'm sure she'll be fine and healthy again just dealing with diabetes for the long run.

EMMA IS GOING HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

All Because Two People Fell In Love

Ya know to me it's all so clear
Every one of us is here
All because two people fell in love

Thanks Mama and Daddy. I wish we could really celebrate it this year. Happy 50th anniversary.

Except for the heat....

we had a really nice day. We went and got chicken and sides for my Dad and went up to the V.A. to see him. He was able to be out of bed today so we weren't all crowded in his room. He looked good for him. He had on his World's Greatest Grandpa shirt that my sister Kelly gave him when she found out she was pregnant with Phillip. It looked good on him but you could definitely tell he lost even more weight than what he has already. He didn't want to eat at first but once he got started on the chicken there was no stopping him. He got weepy a few times when we would mention some of the people from his family like his Aunts and Uncles but he never came to full blown tears at least. I forgot my camera today. I really need to get a good shot of him and my Mom. Hopefully I'll be able to get up there next Sunday. We need to drop the kids off then to spend the night anyway so it'd be a good day for Chris to go and see him too. We'll see what happens. I've learned I have better luck if I don't plan on things.

My Mom and Dad's 50th Anniversary is on Tuesday, August 10th. We won't be celebrating it though because it would just upset my Dad that he couldn't be home. I know that my Mom is really upset. She's trying to be strong but she's gone through so much this year of not getting to be with him. I kind of wish she would break down but then again I sure don't want to see her lose it. I know she would feel better because when I finally broke down about my Dad a few months ago I felt a lot better. It's really weird for me, almost like I'm grieving my Dad, but then he'll have a good day like today and I feel a little guilty for the grieving. Okay, enough of the maudlin stuff.

I was thinking that for Chris and I to be married 50 years I will be 84 and him 74 and Nicky will be my age of 49. Really weird how that works out like that. I hope we make it. :D

Yeah!

I finally get to go and see my Dad again tomorrow. I haven't seen him since his birthday so I'm really looking forward to it. We're going to take him up some Church's fried chicken, french fries and coleslaw for his lunch. I know he hasn't had any fried chicken in a long time. If he eats it great and if not we'll just take it to my brother to eat. I was going to cook some for him but I don't have any dark meat and that's his preference. Church's is right by my Mom's house and on the way to the V.A. anyway. After we see my Dad I'm going to see if my sister wants to start on my Mom's room and getting it rearranged or at least get started on taking stuff out of the dressers my Mom wants to get rid of. They'll be put out for the trash to be picked up or drive by pickups for people who need something that's better than nothing. That's the plan anyway. Let's see if it works out.

First Line Friday...early...

My friend Kathy hosts First Line Friday. You can find her at the link below. Check her out. She has a wonderful blog of lots of reviews of books. You can't go wrong by checking out her blog and a Kathy Recommended Read.


http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author
say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel.
The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or
cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as
many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and
author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also,
share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought
provoking...scary...funny?

I've been on a sci-fi kick still but have switched to Vampire stories. I guess because we finally did get to go and see Eclipse and we've been watching True Blood on HBO also. I love this series. My friend Heather finally told me I should read the books and that she'd send me hers to "borrow". LOL, I don't borrow books except from the library. I'm afraid a friend might send me a "borrow" and I'll want to keep it so if someone says I can borrow I usually just say thanks but I'll just see if I can find it on paperbackswap.com first and if not there I will buy it.

Anyway, I read Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris. It's the first in the Sookie Stackhouse novels which True Blood is based on. I loved it. The series really stuck to the book. They had a character called "Bubba" that I would have loved to see in the series but they left him out. Let's just say he was based on a well-known Memphis singer and referred to in the book as the Man from Memphis. Got it? I knew you would figure it out. Now I've started the 2nd book in the series called Living Dead in Dallas. Of course, I know what's going on since I watch the cable series but still to read it and see the little changes makes me love it more. Here's the first line.....

Andy Bellefleur was as drunk as a skunk.

Woohoo! What a first line. For one thing this character doesn't get drunk so it makes you wonder what's going on with him. I found out of course because as soon as I got the book in the mail today I couldn't stop reading it. The character Sookie being able to read minds doesn't hurt either. While it was out of character for Andy it made sense after Sookie read his thoughts and found out how why he was so depressed. Oh and before I forget to tell you Andy is a detective on the small police force in Bon Temps, Louisiana where the book takes place. You can just imagine what it would take for someone like him to get as drunk as a skunk. By page 6 I find out that one of my favorite characters in the cable series is found dead in Andy's car which had been left overnight at the bar since he was drunk. I am so glad that there was that slight change in the character not being killed on the cable series. Probably if I had read the books first it wouldn't have mattered to me because I wouldn't have known anything much about that character to start with but now after watching him for two seasons he's a very endearing character. I'm glad for that little twist but since I plan to read the rest of the books in the series (in order) I'm sure that if there are some future characters that are out of the cable series and vice versa it won't make any difference to me then. It's like with all book to movies stories......the books are always better.

Hmmm.....

It seems that with Bloggers new design changes there's not too much that can be done with backgrounds. So far I've figured out a little about the dimensions needed but I can't get it exactly. I made another blog just to try out the different backgrounds without changing my everyday blog and graphics blog but I just haven't had any real inspiration yet. Oh well, any excuse to play right? LOL.

If I Owned A Bookstore...

I was just sitting here wondering what I would name a bookstore if I owned one. Would I tie in my name with it? Would I give it a quaint/quirky or cute name? I think it'd be fun to come up with a name. I don't think I'd ever own a bookstore but maybe if I ever win the lottery I'll get the chance.

The reason I got to wondering is that a friend on Facebook has posted a link to a bookstore in California called The Horse's Mouth Bookstore and Coffee Shop. I thought that was a really cool name for a bookstore. Then when I was looking at pictures on their site they had posted a picture of another bookstore in California called The Booklegger. Love it! We don't have anything but chain bookstores around here. You know Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, etc. Yeah, I really think if I ever win the lottery I would definitely build a little bookstore in my little town. We don't even have a local library but still I think I'd really like to do something like that. Gotta dream right? Of course, by the time I win the lottery, books will all be on Kindles and I have the perfect name for that bookstore. Karen's Kindlestore. LOL.

What would you name your bookstore?

I'm So Tired!

Well, we were supposed to go and see Eclipse this weekend but........


Chris had to go to the east coast and won't be home til Wednesday now. I am so tired because I had to pick him up from work this morning and I had a bad night trying to sleep. First mistake I made was eating a tuna sandwich for dinner last night at 9 p.m. I didn't want cereal or peanut butter. I ended up waking up about 1:30 with indigestion really bad. I took an otc med for it and tried to go back to sleep but ended up getting out of bed at 2:30 because I was miserable. I took a nice hot shower and went ahead and got dressed because he should have been calling for me to come and get him anytime by then. He finally called at 4 to let me know to go and get him so off I went. It's really weird being online and not another person I'm friends or family with not online either. LOL....Lori wasn't even online and she works nights. Of course it's weekend for her so I didn't expect to see her there anyway. I went and got Chris and we came home and he got all cleaned up. I got the kids up to go to town so I wouldn't have to drive back and forth too much. Driving just kills me if I make too many trips to town in a row. Yesterday I did errands and walked almost all of Walmart so I'm wiped out from that too and just more driving today really did me in. Anyway, we dropped Chris off and went to IHOP for breakfast. I thought they were going to get Minions stuff (from the movie Despicable Me) but they got regular breakfast stuff instead. Then to my Mom's to visit with her for a few hours and then we finally went and saw Toy Story 3. We loved it. I guess we weren't moved to tears during the movie since we knew about it. I kept waiting to get really teary eyed but nope, nada drop out of our eyes. Then we came home and Nicky okayed something on his computer that made my modem disappear so I had to figure that out. Thank goodness for System Restore. Now I'm catching up on emails and Facebook and I plan to go to bed really, really, really early tonight. LOL.

Mom and Dad

This video broke my heart yesterday. It sucks my Dad has to be in the hospital but we don't have the means or money to take care of him at home. My Dad's birthday is July 12th and then they're 50th anniversary is August 10th. They shouldn't have to be apart but there's no reason for my Mom to be in a home. We're just lucky that my Dad is a veteran. Not of any wars because he was too young for World War 2 and Korea and too old and too many kids for Vietnam but he still served his country for about 7 years or so by being in the Navy in the late 50's and then the reserve during the early 60's. If he hadn't served I don't know how we could get him the help he needs now that he has dementia so badly. Anyway, at least we have him at a local VA and can go and see him when we want but still its hard to see him like he is now. I miss my Dad so much.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy hosts First Line Friday. You can find her at the link below. Check her out. She has a wonderful blog of lots of reviews of books. You can't go wrong by checking out her blog.


http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author
say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel.
The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or
cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as
many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and
author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also,
share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought
provoking...scary...funny?

I've been on a sci-fi kick this past week. I grabbed one of the books in my TBR pile and its one of the sci-fi books I got through www.paperbackswap.com last week. If you haven't checked out this site you're missing out on a great way to exchange your old read for new old reads or slightly new old reads. I love that site. I've saved nearly $400 in the past 3 years on just books I want to read there alone. I still get books from other places too but if you're looking for an out of date book or an old read chances are likely you'll be able to find it there.

My book is called The Way It Wasn't: Great Science Fiction Stories of Alternate History. I admit I'm a Sci-Fi geek. I love reading short stories from this genre especially. The first short story in this book is called Lion Time in Timbuctoo by Robert Silverberg. Here's the first line....


In the dry stifling days of early summer, the Emir lay dying, the king, the imam, Big Father of the Songhay, in his cool, dark mud-walled palace in the Sankore quarter of Old Timbuctoo.


With all those titles he must be some Emir. It'll be interesting to see where this story goes. I have no clue except that I can figure its set in a jungle setting. That's one thing about short stories is they're the best of a long read condensed for those days I just can't get into a huge read.

On a side note, I almost bought Stephen King's Under the Dome. Talk about a huge read. With my carpal tunnel I doubt I'd be able to hold this book very long. Even with a softback cover. Seriously, this book only has 1088 pages. I do want to read it so I'm sure I'll see if www.paperbackswap.com has it yet and if it doesn't then I'll go to www.amazon.com and get it there. It's only about $10 so that's better than what I would have paid for it where I saw it.

Anyway, off to check for the book while I'm thinking about it. :D

Happy Hump Day!

A nice Wednesday. That's what we had. LOL. After running around all weekend at my Mother in Law's house we needed just an easy day. Well, sort of easy. Chris had a doctor appointment. He's been having a few things going on with him. Not bad but come to find out it might be from the cholesterol medication he takes. The 3 things he complained about match up for side effects with what he takes. I knew it had to be something easier than the hernia he has. The things he's been complaining about came around way before the hernia too. My hubby is just a wee bit of a hypochondriac at times. We've got good insurance though so better he get checked out. It was time for a follow up with the doctor anyway. He's gained 7 pounds since October 2009 so that's not bad but he really needs to cut down again. He's done it with controlling not eating red meat or fried foods but we were kind of lax lately so its back to the basics again for him plus portion control. We're going to go and buy him some resistance bands so he can do the exercises for them while lying in the bunk of the truck. That plus walking should work for him. We're also going to finally get some money saved to get an exercise bike at home. I can't go walking with him because of my neurapathy. It sucks because I used to walk all the time before they got bad but I will be able to do the bike at home. Anyway the doctor told him to start taking a Prilosec or the generic of it every day and we'll see how that goes. If it doesn't help then we'll have to see about it being the hernia. Also, he's going to get a sleep apnea test done. His brother and father both have it so better safe on that also. I don't think he has it but we'll see. After we went to the doctor we had a late breakfast and took lunch back to the kids and my Mom and brother. We had left the kids there so we wouldn't hear how bored they were at the doctor's office. We finally got to go and see Shrek too. I loved it! It's a nice finish to the story of Shrek but I still want more. LOL. We finished up the day with some wonderful Chinese food for dinner. Like I said it was a nice Wednesday. :D

Happy 4th of July

early. We'll be at MIL's house this weekend. We haven't seen her in about 6 months so we're really looking forward to seeing her and brother in law and his family. I picked up an outfit each for the kids. I know the baby's will be too big but he's growing so fast it won't be long before it'll fit him. I hope you all have a fun and very safe holiday on Sunday.

Weepy

I'm weepy tonight. A good online friend of mine is going through a struggle with her Mother right now that's similar to what we're going through with my Dad. She doesn't have dementia but some other problems that have caused her to just snap at once. We watched my Dad go down hill over the last 3 years and I can't imagine how hard it is to just see it happen almost overnight. I'm just crying over the last email I read from my friend. I don't wish anything like this stuff on anybody much less a good friend. I'm praying for my friend, her Mom and their family. I hope her Mom will be okay and its just a short period that she'll be unwell. I just wish I had words of comfort to send to her.......heck, I just wish I could give her a big hug.



Another thing that has me weepy is that my parents 50th wedding anniversary is on August 10th. We had a huge party for my mother's parents when they celebrated the same anniversary. We should be planning a huge party for my parents. Also my Dad's 72nd birthday is on July 12th. Both of his parents passed away shortly after their 72nd birthdays. His Dad within a month of his and his Mom within a few days of hers. I'm definitely going to be holding my breath for the next month or so. My Dad always says he'll never live longer than his parents did.

Doctor, Doctor

I love my doctor. She's fantastic and has never steered me wrong on anything. She became part of our family when Jessie was a year old so we've been seeing her for 10 years now. I know its weird to say she's part of the family but since she sees all 4 of us and is a family practitioner we consider her ours. LOL. Of course in our family anybody we like becomes part of our family. One reason I like her is that when we first met her she was very pregnant with her second child. We just barely got to see her before she was on maternity leave but that's okay cause we were all healthy back then. The other reason is that she's only a couple of years younger than me and her kids are right behind my two in age also. So when I go in there and say hey Jessie is this or Nicky is that she knows exactly what I mean. Now she knows I know what some stuff is so all I have to do is just call in and ask for something and she will prescribe it for me usually. Of course the most I've ever asked for is ear ache medicine and maybe antibiotics for an ear infection. She's very easy going when you go to see her too. Now I finally convinced my sister Cheryl she needed a family doctor instead of going to the ER or one of the walk in clinics and got her to go and see our doctor. She liked her a lot and the doctor thought that my sister was me for a minute. Cheryl said she was in the hallway getting weighed and blood pressured when a lady walked by and said hey girl to her. Cheryl said she thought it was just a very friendly place. Then the doctor went into the room and asked her if she knew she had a twin? LOL. We've gotten that a lot since Cheryl was about 20 or so. I can see similarities but I sure don't see twinness when I look at her. So anyway she got her initial visit over and liked the doctor. She goes back for a chick test in August and the doctor wants fasting blood work from her too since we're all diabetic and have a few things in family history that would show up too. She'll just have to go in anytime that's good for her and just do lab work not a visit. Oh and she said she's going to do an EKG on Cheryl too and wondered to her if she had done one on me yet. I guess when I go back for my next visit I'll get asked that one. LOL.

Blog Background

So....I found out the hard way that they changed how the blog backgrounds are done now. I like to make my own so I had a couple of frustrating days playing but finally got it all figured out by reading how to install at Dotty Dot Dot Design. You can find Dotty's blog here
http://dottydotdotdesign1.blogspot.com/

Thanks for unknowingly helping out a fellow graphic geek. Now I know what I'm doing I'll have to figure out something better eventually.

First Line Friday

My friend Kathy has this wonderful meme on Fridays. You can find her here.

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html

FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel. The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing
, they can find the book. Also, share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought provoking...scary...funny?

I started this book late last night based on the first line so its my choice for First Line Friday this week. I'm pretty sure Kathy sent me this book. From now on I need to put post its on books sent to me by friends and given to me by family so I can remember who gave me which book. LOL. So this book is

The book is Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy. The cover art on this book is of a scarlet door and really catches your attention. Kathy always finds the best cover art books. You should do a coffee table book of your favorite covers Kathy.

Here's the first line.

New Year's Eve

On the radio show they were asking people what kind of a New Year's Eve did they really want.

I've never thought about it really. We usually stay home. Chris isn't one to drive out and about when he thinks there will be a lot of drunks at home. Some years we make it midnight and sometimes we don't. One year we went to Dallas because my brother had congestive heart failure. We left the kids with a babysitter the day before so that we could take my Mom and sister Cheryl around to turn in his car and get his last paycheck from work because he was going to be in the hospital a while and we found out later that he wouldn't really ever be able to work again because of it. That was the start of his decline of good health and it was the year of Y2K. Everybody was predicting doom and gloom and stocking up on water and beans. LOL. Anyway that was a really different New Year's Eve for us and ever since then we just usually stay home. We got home a few hours before midnight and I didn't make it. Chris did but not me. We all survived that year too. I think I'd really like to go out sometime with Chris for New Year's Eve especially now that the kids are older but I really doubt it'll ever happen. It doesn't help that he drives for a living so I can't blame him for wanting to be home when he's home.

Off

Feeling off or lost today. I really enjoyed seeing my Daddy yesterday and loved how it seemed part of him was there with us. But today I've been feeling lost. I always sent my Daddy yellow roses for Father's Day but we can't give him flowers in the hospital because he might throw the vase at the nurses when he's having a bad day. My sister took a couple of stems of daisies up to him yesterday but its not the same thing. It's just been bugging me so much today how much I'm missing my Daddy and he's not gone, but, then again he is gone. Its hard to explain these feelings I'm having. Chris should get it since he hasn't seen his Dad in 8 years but he doesn't. Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe its hormonal. I don't know. Looking at the pictures we took makes me realize how tiny he is looking again and his skin has that translucent look to it again too. I know he's not eating much anymore and he's taken to staying in bed more too. I know this is part of the process we'll be going through but its hard to stay light spirited but I try to do it for my Mom. She's been a rock for all of us and is very strong hearted. I did get to have a happy moment today. My brother did get a good picture of all 5 of us so I was very happy.

Happy Father's Day!

We had a good day yesterday with my Dad. I came into my Dad's room after everybody else but my sister Cheryl said that his face just lit up that we were all there. Even my brother Terry made it and brought his partner Jack. We had never met Jack but he's a good fit for the family and for Terry for sure. He's older by about 10 years than my brother but from seeing him yesterday he's exactly what my brother needs. I'm just glad that my brother is settling down and allowing himself to love and be loved. He never had any kind of relationship when his kids were growing up and he was a single Dad so its about time. We stayed with my Dad for about 2 hours. He doesn't walk at all anymore and my Mom said that he's been in his bed the last two times now that she's been up there to see him. That's not good but it's to be expected. The only thing that ruined my day was when I looked at all the pictures I took and the one I wanted the most to turn out well was horrible. I'm so disappointed and I'm really mad at my nephew John since he took it. He was playing around with the camera and being goofy so I knew I should have had somebody else take the picture. The picture in my header of my brothers, sisters and I is the only one of two pictures that we have of us all together where my sister Kelly is not a baby. I had wanted a new picture of all five of us but nope it didn't happen. My brother Patrick's face is half blocked behind my sister Kelly's head and John never even said a word. I should have looked better at the pictures but because I have the older Kodak digital camera the display area is small so I couldn't tell that his face was blocked. John was looking at us though so he should have said something. I hope my brother Terry will be able to get down again and we all get another one made soon. It was before Christmas last year since the last time we saw him so I just hope its not another 6 months. :( Yeah I know I'm being stupid about it but I just love my pictures so much and wanted this one that badly.

Currently Reading

I'm currently reading Wild Swans by Jung Chang. It's the story of a family during China's cultural changes from being dominated by the Japanese in the early 1900's through the Communist reign of Mao and through the current times. I love reading generational stories and biographies about women and their fight with their families for a better life always draw me in. This one is no exception. Here's the synopsis from the back of the book because I'm no good at explaining what its about much less giving reviews. LOL.

Blending the intimacy of memoir and the panoramic sweep of eyewitness history, Wild Swans has become a bestselling classic in thirty languages, with more than ten million copies sold. The story of three generations in twentieth-century China, it is an engrossing record of Mao's impact on China, an unusual window on the femal experience in the modern world, and an inspiring tale of courage and love. Jung Chang describes the life of her grandmother, a warlord's concubine, her mother's struggles as a young idealistic Communist; and her parents experience as members of the Communist elite and their ordeal during the Cultural Revolution. Chang was a Red Guard briefly at the age of foureen, then worked as a peasant, a "barefoot doctor," a steelworker and an electrician. As the story of each generation unfolds, Chang captures in gripping, moving---and ultimately uplifitng---detail the cycles of violent drama visited on her own family and millions of others caught in the whirlwind of history.

And to boot, I found it at Books A Million in their cheap book section. As I've said before I love going there and finding these little cheap treasures.

TBR Pile

or should I say box. It's overflowing so I decided to see what I have in there now and list them here. LOL. Plus I need to check them against my Goodreads bookshelf of to be read books too. If you don't know about Goodreads.com its a great site. It helps you keep your books organized into what you've read, are reading and have to read. I love that site. If you want to be my friend there here's a link to me. Just remind me that you found me there from my blog post.


http://www.goodreads.com/karenintexas


Here's my list in no particular order.


1. The Divine Husband by Francisco Goldman (Dollar Tree find)

2. Revenge of Innocents by Nancy Taylor Rosenberg

3. Delicious by Sherry Thomas

4. Killing Floor by Lee Child

5. Reading Between the Lines by Linda Taylor

6. To Save This Child by Darlene Graham (Harlequin Romance)

7. Killer Weekend by Ridley Pearson

8. Strange Bedfellows by Kasey Michaels (Harlequin Romance)

9. Bucksin Shotgun! by Kit Dalton (Western [Don't know if I'll read or not])

10. Careless Whispers (Harlequin Romance wannabe book)

11. Pieces of My Sister's Life by Elizabeth Joy Arnold (I've already started this
one but I have no idea how it got back into my TBR box. Putting it back on
nightstand.)

12. The Girl with the Golden Spurs by Ann Major (Western Romance)

13. In Care of Sam Beaudry by Kathleen Eagle (Harlequin Romance)

14. Remember When by Judith McNaught

15. The Texas Twins by Tina Leonard (Harlequin Romance)

16. Home to Eden by Margaret Way (Harlequin Romance)

17. Someone To Turn To by Marilyn Cunningham (Harlequin Romance)

18. The Bone Parade by Mark Mykanen

19. Loving Evangeline by Linda Howard (Harlequin Romance)

20. Harrigan's Bride by Cheryl Reavis

21. A Baby Between Them by C.J. Carmichael (Harlequin Romance)

22. The Midwife and the Lawman by Marisa Carroll (Harlequin Romance)

23. Renegade Millionaire by Kristi Gold (Harlequin Romance)

24. Marriage by the Book by Joan Johnston (Harlequin Romance)

25. Counting on a Cowboy by Karen Sandler (Harlequin Romance)

26. Luke (The Cowboys) by Leigh Greenwood (Western)

27. Fully Engaged by Catherine Mann (Harlequin Romance)

28. Lone Star Legacy by Roxanne Rustand (Harlequin Romance)

29. On the Line by Anne Marie Duquette (Harlequin Romance)

30. Here and Then by Linda Lael Miller (Harlequin Romance)

31. Forbidden Love by Karen Robards

32. Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy

33. Guardian Angel by Julie Garwood

34. The Scroll of Seduction by Gioconda Belli

I thought I was below 30 by now but Kathy just sent me a box of books recently and also got a few from my Mom and Cheryl so I'm back up there again. LOL. I didn't realize there was so many Harlequin Romance in the box but I love to read them too. As you can tell I'm an eclectic reader. I'll read anything. :D

First Line Friday

http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/2010/03/first-line-friday.html


FIRST LINE FRIDAY...First lines have always intrigued me since I heard an author
say that writing the first sentence is, by far, the most difficult part of writing a novel.
The reasoning was that a first sentence can make the reader continue reading or
cause the book to be tossed aside. So, go to your To Be Read Pile, choose as
many books as you want and share the first line. Be sure to include the title and
author so that if your reader also finds it intriguing, they can find the book. Also,
share your thoughts about the first line. Does it draw you in? Is it...exciting...thought
provoking...scary...funny?



It's been a while since I've participated in First Line Friday. I just grabbed this book last week at BAM in their cheap book section. I love cheap, obscure books. Some of my best reads have been from that section. LOL. I can't remember if I picked up this one for the back cover synopsis or the first line but its all good right? The book is The Scroll of Seduction by Gioconda Belli and its about Queen Juana of Castile and her devotion to her husband King Philippe the Handsome. I think Kathy's period piece reading is rubbing off on me. I've really been enjoying them again lately. Thanks Kathy. Anyway here's the first line from the Scroll of Seduction.


Manuel said he would tell me the story of the Spanish queen, Juana of Castile, and her mad love for her husband, Philippe the Handsome, but only if I agreed to certain conditions.

Well, of course, this grabbed my attention. First, royals never seem to be madly in love in books or history. There's only one example I can think of...Victoria and Albert. I'm sure there are more if I think about it. Second, why is Manuel using the story to get the girl narrating to do his bidding? What's in it for him and then her too except a good story? LOL, time will tell when I get to read this book I'm sure.

Plans Changed

Well, my plans got changed. Chris isn't going to make it in until Sunday morning sometime. At least he'll make it in for Father's Day. He'll just be in on Sunday and Monday and have to head back out on Tuesday. So my plans to see my Dad today are changed til tomorrow but that's okay. We'll go and see him earlier in the day and hopefully he'll be up for a good long visit. I found him a Father's Day shirt to give him. It says 'This is how a cool Dad looks'. Its a tradition for me to always give him a Tshirt for Father's Day and he always liked them too. The kids are going up to see him this time too. My sister Cheryl said that he's very skinny looking but still I want them to see him cause you just don't ever know what might happen. Besides it'll make him happy to see them too. Chris is going to make out like a bandit this Father's day. I had already given him a tshirt and 3 books for it. It was two Star Wars books -Omen and Outcast- and then the 1st book in a series that he's starting to read called Amber & Ashes by Margaret Weis. He had already found the 2nd and 3rd at a truckstop. They're Amber & Iron and Amber & Blood and it seems like it'll be a series I like too. It's part of the Dragonlance storyline but separate if that makes sense. We went to the Russell Stover factor outlet store in Corsicana yesterday. I remember why I don't go there very often anymore now that I spent $83 there. LOL. We got Chris a nice plaque to hang on the wall from his favorite college team. Hook 'em Horns! The plaque reads....A Texas fan lives here and has the horns icon and UT symbol on it and of course lots of burnt orange color on it. That's from Jessie. Nicky picked out a black coffee mug with the word Texas on it with their version of orange M&M's in it. I got him two huge Smore's candies the make there also. This morning at Walmart I picked up his Father's Day Tshirt too. His says Dad Rocks and has an electric guitar on it and also got him two bags of Lifesaver Gummies cause they're his favorite. He'll be having his favorite dinner Sunday night too. Spaghetti. He can never get enough of it but I get tired of it so I don't cook it very often for him. We plan to get to the movies on Monday to see Shrek and then to AAFES for him to spend his gift certificate after that. That's about all of our weekend plans now so lets see if they work out.

Visiting My Dad

I haven't gotten to go and see my Dad in a while. With school ending and year end things going on there and then not feeling well and getting strep the month of May and first half June just slipped by me. I'm going to take the kids up Friday evening hopefully to see him. I need to wait for my sister to get off of work though because for some weird reason my Dad gets upset when I'm there and she's not with me. My Mom will be there of course but I'd like a good visit again since its been a long time. We have to go on Friday evening because Chris will not probably get home until late, late Friday or early Saturday morning. That just leaves him having one whole day off and that's Father's day on Sunday and with all I have to do to get him back ready for work on Monday I need Sunday for that. Also, he'll be driving in home so that means he'll need to sleep when he first gets in. He wants to go to the movies to see Shrek on Saturday but I don't want him going on no sleep even though he says it'll be fine. I'm thinking we'll just spend Friday at my Mom's and I'll leave the kids sleeping there with them and bring Chris home and sleep a while and then go all the way back to my Mom's after he sleeps and we can see the movie at the theater there. After the movies he wants to go to Ft. Hood to spend the gift certificate they gave him for 10 years of service at work. I have no idea what he'll get but its for $200 so we'll see what he does. Will he be selfish and just spend it on himself or will we get a new TV for the livingroom? LOL. We'll see what happens on Saturday. I told him wasn't it nice that work thinks he's worth $20 a year to them? Breaking it down doesn't make it seem like so much but I never got anything for 10 years of working (when I worked) so its a whole lot better than nothing. Okay so I planned the end of the week and weekend. Let's hope my plans don't go awry. They usually do so that's why I don't plan ahead too much.

Bunny Hop

http://droppedstitches72.blogspot.com/

Hi. If you found me through the Bunny Hop link thanks for coming by. My blog isn't anything special. I just pretty much post my feelings and thoughts here as I need. Whether there are things going on healthwise with my parents or brother or just fun things. I try to get here at least once a week sometimes I do get here daily. As you can read in the post before this one I mainly write about my family and the things that are going on with my Dad and his Dementia. Sometimes though we do have good things going on and I try to remember to post about that stuff too. Welcome to my blog and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Meet and Greet Monday

http://southernloves.blogspot.com/




Kathy led me to Meet and Greet Monday. It sounds like a lot of fun. I've never done any blog hopping.

Welcome to my blog. I put my heart on my sleeve here a lot. Hence the title Deep in the Heart. That and the fact that I'm a native Texan made the title seem appropriate. LOL.

My family has had its ups and downs in the last few years with my parents health. My Mom had congestive heart failure and then a blood clot on her brain and finally a stroke that left her with not much use on her right side. She can walk still and use her right hand somewhat and speak clearly so that's a blessing in disguise. In between her bouts in the hospital my Dad would be in for different things too. He has a bad heart and had a stent put in and then also he had a really bad staph infection that had him in the hospital for 20 days. Either one parent or the other would be in the hospital or my brother who has a bad heart would be there. It's been a rough few years and now my Dad has been diagnosed with Dementia and its really hard. Things are going well right now so I'm on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop since its been going well.
I found out that typing out my thoughts and feelings here helps me to not go crazy when things aren't going so well. Also when they are going well its fun to put the great stuff going on too. Anyway, here's my blog. Enjoy the ride!

Blog Hops

I'm not much on doing blog hops but thought I'd give a couple a try because Kathy recommended them. She's never led me astray on anything in the blog world. Bear with me and I'll get them both posted soon.

I'm Back!

Not that I was gone anywhere but my internet was iffy. I hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. Nicky was having fanfiction withdrawals. LOL. I gotta admit I was having withdrawals of my own too but not as badly as I thought I ever would have. I was able to get on here and there as the wind blew. Literally! The wind out here where we are is always blowing but the last week we've had some really strong winds. I guess the storm that blew in Tuesday morning finally did it in. The tech guy said the setting on the dish was at 85 and it was supposed to be in the 150's. Wow! What a difference. Now I'm trying to catch up with what I missed online. Hopefully I'm not too far behind.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turn the dreaded 49 today. Hmm....I don't know how I feel about that. I wasn't planning anything but my siblings decided we'd get together at my sister Kelly's house and celebrate it. So, we're going to get together and play Karaoke on the Wii and eat hamburgers. My not so subtle sister Cheryl (say that 5 times fast) came right out and asked me what kind of cake I wanted so I told her an ice cream cake. White and chocolate and it doesn't matter which is the cake and which is the ice cream as long as its white and chocolate somehow or the other. We don't have to be at Kelly's house until around 12. The kids are staying with my Mom and them until Monday. It was nice to wake up to no alarm and no kids this morning. I woke up to a very nice husband this morning...::wink::wink::and colored the gray out of my hair. I'm not sure what shade its going to be since my hair is naturally dark brown to almost black but at least the gray is covered...mostly. I still have a few silver strands here and there but its the best I can do without my glasses on. It might have some auburn/reddish tint to it when it dries. We'll see. Yesterday Chris took me out to eat for my birthday. We ended up at a joint in Killeen cause we thought we were going to go shopping at Ft. Hood but changed our minds. We went to a place called C&H Hawaiian Grill. The food is fabulous. They just opened another one in our next town over so we'll definitely go and try that one too. Chris had the pork ribs and I got the mixed plate. Mine had kahlua pork, terriyaki chicken and brisket and they both had two scoops of rice and macaroni salad. They use this sauce on everything that tastes fantastic. It's slightly sweet but not overpowering. It was on the rice too. I hate white rice so I never eat it but their rice was delicious. I don't know if it was the sauce or that it was like sticky rice maybe. I just know I'm going to be starving the next time we go so I can eat everything. My plate was $7.95 and Chris's $6.95 and we both couldn't finish everything. I definitely would like to get a plate for my Dad from there and take to him at the VA for lunch one day. He was stationed in Hawaii for about 3 years when he was in the Navy in the late 50's. They have some more traditional dishes listed too so I'd love to try some of them. I was surprised though that I didn't see anything with Spam on the menu. LOL, maybe its because we're in Texas and not Hawaii huh?

Happy Memorial Day!

Here's to my Dad who served in the Navy in peacetime. He was too young to serve in World War 2 and Korea but too old and had too many kids to support to serve in Vietnam. In the picture above he's with his best friend Freddy Martin. They served in Hawaii in about 1958 or 1959. Some tour of duty huh? Here's to my Uncle J. C. (my Aunt Bobbie's husband) who was in the Coast Guard in peacetime at the same time my Daddy was. Also, here's to my Mom's younger brothers Johnnie and Robert who both served in Vietnam. Johnnie was in the Marine's and Robert in the Army. Here's to my Dad's Uncle Coot who was a prisoner of war of the Japanese in World War 2. Here's to my cousin Stacy and her husband Nick who both were National Guard and served in Iraq. Without any of them serving their country I wouldn't have a my country. Thank you Daddy and thank you to all the members of the United States Armed Forces in war and peacetime who've made this holiday a very personal holiday for all Americans.

Awake?

I think I am. Just one week and a few days until everybody in our household become night owls. That's right. Summer is just around the corner for us. I don't know who's more excited about school being over for the year the kids or me. Jessie is officially a 6th grader despite her failing math every semester. She missed it by just this much though so considering her learning disability with math it really means she did very well to just fail by that little bit. She did pass the math TAKS test so that's why the ARD committee decided to go ahead and pass her to 6th grade. I don't want her to be passed ahead just to be passed but holding her back for this and knowing its an actual learning disability is different than if she were just a normal student who wasn't trying. Her other classes are all on grade level or a little above and she was given a small IQ test where she was determined to be an average person of intelligence. I'll take average intelligence. It's her personality that makes her who she is anyway. I mentioned to the committee that well so she won't be an accountant when she grows up but they threw back at me that maybe she'd be a writer then. Okay, I know my girl has an imagination but now I'm wondering what the heck she's been saying or writing at school. They didn't act like it was anything bad so I guess I'll just look forward to her future and see what she turns out to be. Nicky is passing to the 8th grade. I just can't believe he's in 8th grade. It just seems like he was a baby yesterday. He's at the other end of the spectrum from Jessie. He came home with awards for A/B Honor Roll and an Outstanding in Science Certificate and never even told me it was Awards day. In fact, I'd never seen the inside of the new middle school until we went to his Band concert last week. All I saw then was the Cafetorium. (I hate those!) Why not just build an auditorium when building a whole new school? Doesn't make any sense to me either. Nicky plays the Baritone. It looks like a small tuba. He really enjoys it. Jessie thinks he enjoys Band so much so that she's decided she wants to do Band for her elective in 6th grade too. The Band director let her try the Flute and the Clarinet and asked her which she liked best. She chose the Clarinet. The director told her good choice because its an instrument for people with long arms. Yep, I have a monkey girl. Her hands are already bigger than mine too. If she's not going to be tall I'll be very surprised. Nicky too. Both are already even or past me in height. Course I'm only 5'4" but I wasn't anywhere near their heights at their ages. Thank goodness for tall grandparents. They'll both be at the middle school this next year and then Nicky will start high school the year after that. I don't even want to begin thinking about that yet. Sidenote: After a cooling off period of a few days my brother and I are all good again. I was hoping it would be okay and it was. It helped I was able to get my emotions all out here though. I've opened my blog back up for anybody to read again. I just needed a few days of being paranoid I guess.

@@

That's an eye roll by the way. My brother sucks! I'm so upset with him right now. Our family is on Facebook. A lot of the extended family on my Mom's side is too. Well, I made a family group page that is closed to the public so that we could post more private things that don't need to be all over Facebook. I really wanted my Mom to be able to talk about my Dad to her family without worrying about who else could read it and today she actually posted on there that she saw him and that he was in a good mood. I was excited for a little bit. Anyway, I started a Scattegories type game there and my brother proceeded to answer with a whole bunch of answers and not give anybody else a chance to answer so when I started the next letter I just asked that no one answer more than once in a row to give everybody a chance to play. He IM'd me on Facebook and told me to remove him from the group. I told him no that I'd just delete the whole group. I found out I can't delete the whole group without removing everybody first and I don't want to do that. There'd be a lot of questions and its better to just leave it up instead. Then he said this smartass is leaving Facebook. I told him I didn't call him a smartass and then he said he didn't say I did. Okay, so that remark was just like slapping me in the face then. Why say that remark if it has nothing to do with me? I told him I just asked to take turns so everybody could play and he told me I replied during the game. Um...no I didn't. I started the game and then changed to the next letter. He didn't give anyone a chance to respond after my one Aunt responded. I deleted the Scattegory discussion so there's no chance of that happening again. It just pisses me off because he knows how important it was to me that we have this family group page. I feel my Mom's family drifting all apart and I miss the closeness I had with all my cousins growing up. I think my brother is just mad because he couldn't control everything on there. I'm going to enjoy him not being on Facebook I think. There's times when he's jumped in on conversations with friends of mine that he has no idea who they are. I won't miss his abrasiveness on there that's for sure. He loves to be mean when he's talking to you in person too and then turns it around and says he's joking. I'm tired of it and I've been wanting to tell him off for a long time but because of what my Mom is going through with my Dad I haven't. Now, I doubt I'll get to talk to my Mom or my sister very much since he's always the one to answer the phone. So I guess I've lost my Mom and everybody now for sure. I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong. I just wanted a chance for everybody to have fun on there. What's funny is I know he'll still be going on Facebook under my Mom's and sister's pages so I can't even trust a conversation with them on there that its not really him. His loss right? Then why do I feel bad? I guess its cause I'm the eldest. I hate being the eldest sometimes.


**Edit** I got on Facebook this morning like always. My brother is back on there. I think he has his settings so I can't see him on there. Fine with me. I didn't do anything wrong. Just asked he played fair and apparantly he just can't do that anymore. I only noticed because one of the pictures someone else put on had him tagged and it was in blue so that means he's not off of Facebook. He'll get over himself eventually. I'll be here when he does but I'm not going to fret myself over him anymore. He's a grown man and should be able to handle himself as such. The only thing worries me is not seeing my Mom.